La Mala Has Left Blogger

Visit my new home at mamitamala.com

Really You Should be here anymore

You should be here

I'm Moving

Well this blog is anyway. I'm moving off of blogger and slowly settling into mamitamala.com thanks to Vegankid. That site is under serious construction including updating links and the look of the site, so excuse the mess over there. It takes a little time to settle into a home of your own. I'm learning that blogger has spoiled me and that I know shit about designing a blog.

Late Night Movies - The King Shouldn't Be Alive

If I could choose the next fantasy father of my next fantasy baby it would be Gael Garcia Bernal. He's talented, cute, and has good politics. Usually the movies he plays in are well done and thought provoking. I said Usually. Last night I caught a late showing of The King and walked out feeling less than satisfied, kind of like when you build up sleeping with someone and it's just eh.
The plot was interesting and the plot twists sick, which all good by me. But halfway through the movie, it just started to feel like a drag, like everything was being melodramatically drawn out and accompanied by even more melodramatic music.

My pololo and I had been talking about going to a movie since we started dating months ago and sadly this was the first movie we shared.

Un Cambio Por Favor

Many many changes are about to happen. In my life and on this blog. Mi pololo will be leaving for Spain for three weeks, giving me three weeks of time to think and reflect and plan. I have to figure out which conferences I will make this summer and which ones I will sit out. I have to factor in la Mapu and make sure she is taken care of if she doesn't come with. I have to earn money and save money. Sadly, life isn't free.

Soon this blog will be moving off of blogger and on its own space (gracias to Vegankid) which I am very excited about out.

Summer is my favorite season. It's hot and sweaty and sensual and sexy and always seems to be a big time of change in my life. This summer promises to be no different.

Punctuation

I refuse to balance on a hyphen
Slip between ellipses of omission
of waiting
for my adjective
my modifier.

I like to use the dash when I write, especially when I write in my daily journal. It indicates continuity, connections and yes poor grammar skills.

Today I received my official acceptance letter from Voices of Our Nations Art Foundation (VONA).
. I have the opportunity to spend a few weeks in San Fran working on my writing. I am honored and excited to work with other writers of color and share community. But I have no idea how I will do it. The program will cost me, not including airfare about $800. This comes at a time when I am planning a move into a new apartment I will share with my daughter and pololo, healthcare bills are on the horizon, and of course basic survival needs. But my writing is a survival need as well. But who will watch my 8 year old daughter while I indulge myself in words and the sound they make on my mouth and the space they take up once they leave my mouth?

Well there is a little, humble donation button on the sidebar (god I beg alot no?)
But this is something I have waited too long to do, take a step for myself and how that self expresses herself.

Still doesn't take care of childcare but they don't make a button for that.

Fear of Water

I have bathed every inch of this skin
And what is covered beneath it
In your waters.
Slowly
Methodically
Cautiously.

It is not that I am unfamiliar with the ritual of submerging.
Toes gripping the edge
Closing my eyes
Deep breath in
Hold
Bend knees
Push off
And jump.

I haven’t forgotten the baptismal birth water font
Or the 9 months of water world safety thatprecededd my salvation .
Nor have I forgotten that
Rush
Air bubbles
From tip toe
Up along my calves
Grazing my thighs
Curving my ass
Dancing on my crooked spine
Kissing my neck
And right through my head.
Not to mention what happens inside
The weightlessness
Floating
Falling
Stomach turning over itself and
Pressing down
Down
Down.

Every dive different
With the same goal
Reaching the bottom
And floating back up
To the surface
The light
The sun
Warm,
New
Alive.


And now that I have thrown myself in, consequences and all, I feel he is swimming towards the edge, looking for a way out.