Friday, April 30, 2004

Drains and Dreams and Borderlines

Yesterday started out uneventful but full of energy and light. I wrote, I read, I had the shelves that my ex bought me five months ago put up.

One of my primitos called to set up a summer family outing to Six Flags which sounds like fun if complicated to set up.

Then the stress started. La fea's oral infection started spreading and she was off to the hospital. I had the MapucheRican and students. The local public hospital was actually efficient in draining infected liquid out of her.

My fourth grade student has serious reading comprehension issues. The next few days I will spend working with her on word problems in anticipation of the state wide test next week.

The dreams were dreams of my mentor's wife well I guess now widow.

I am reading Gloria Anzaldua's Borderlands, La Frontera. I read it in college but now it's interesting to me. I think I felt some distance from it because it was a "Chicano" book but reading it now I realize I was angry at the fact that my borders have been erased on one level and made stronger on another. What I am currently fascinated by is how in the chapter "la herencia de Coatlicue" and how Anzaldua writes about the addictions and identity confusion of us straddling two borders. It's as if she were readings parts of my mental health diagnosis. Makes me think I'm not as crazy as the medical establishment has painted me. What I do, my reaction to things is normal under the fucked up colonial circumstances I have been born into. Many would read this as a cop put no? But Borderline Personality Disorder? What a fitting sickness to bestow upon a woman whose borders have been denied her on one level and made painfully clear on another.

Today I will spend a few hours being the pink haired pta freak then I will meet M ( I need a fucking nickname for him!!) for lunch. He promises to smell sweaty and sunny since he will be doing yardwork. We may never eat.


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