Tuesday, June 29, 2004

My Meeting With SMB

I arrived at the Central Park boat pond looking for Stupid Married Boy (SMB). My heart was racing. All I know is that one moment I turned around and there he was. He had shaved his head , which I had suspected since his hairline had been receding the last time I saw him. Besides that he looked exactly the same, delicious. But I wasn't overwhelmed by lust or desire. It really was like seeing an old friend. Anyway I was still curious to hear what political issue he wanted to discuss with me.

His children are absolutely beautiful. It was the first time I had seen them in person since they were forbidden to me before given my position of " other woman". It's amazing how four years really seems like a long time when you see how much children grow in that time. His son his nearly 9. His daughter is 5. She was in diapers and babbling when I dated smb.

If nothing else, he was always a good father and he still is. He rented a sailboat for the kids to sail and happily got plastic cups for them to catch fish and snails with.
Then he sat down and began to tell me about an idea that he had to engage people politically. I won't get into the details about his idea because it is his, all I will say is that it is culturejamming and parody. I have questions about how it could potentially commodify the movement and repeat the methods used by the oppressor but it's not a bad idea. It just needs to be fleshed out.

As we moved from the boat pond to a playground area we got more comfortable and I asked about the situation with the kids. His ex-wife moved to Georgia with them , so he only sees them over the Christmas holiday. This summer his ex sent them to stay with him for the entire break. I felt bad because he loves those kids. They are his life and always have been.

I asked what he was doing for work and he's been dabbling in computer stuff still.

I told him my career path from wall street when we were dating to stripper to starving artist. He said I seemed happier. I told him I was. He asked about my health , meaning my mental health and I didn't lie. I said it had been a pretty good year.

I'm glad I didn't lie because then he confessed how he had found me. SMB found my blog, this blog and has been reading it. ::Waving:: Hi SMB!!!! ( in case he's reading) Sheesh soon my main audience will be ex boyfriends and lovers.

Of course I had to tell him that he would be blogged about and I told him about how I had been secretly calling him Stupid Married Boy. He laughed.

He's engaged, living in the Bronx , and he's back in school.

After a few hours in the park he walked with the kids to pick up his girlfriend (who is sweet but not political at all, his words not mine---it seems that I am always "the political girlfriend").I hopped on the subway. No hate. No lust. He's just someone I used to be madly in love with and planned in my naive early 20's to spend the rest of my life with. If anything my meeting him shows how I have grown personally in four years.

He didn't know if I would show. I didn't know if he would show. I'm glad we both did.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey from Mamaleh!

I'm glad it went well, no drama. And hey- it ain't all exes reading your blog!

6/30/2004 09:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those crazy loves you have in the naive early twenties are intense, no? I know I've had some I'll never forget, and sometimes I think that maybe I will never again love as crazily as I did when I was 21, and the world seemed so fresh. But sometimes I think it's from those loves that I've learned myself and learned to love myself. Looking back at a littler version of myself trying to navigate the world I can't help but be madly, crazily in love with that girl I used to be, and the woman I've become. Besos to you.

La Vendi

6/30/2004 10:27:00 AM  

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