Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Coo Coo's, Vaginas, and Pussies

It's one of those talks every parent, especially parents of girls, needs to have. You know the conversation about their bodies and that people should not be touching it. A key part of making this sort of conversation work is determining what language, words, and vocabulary will be used. The parent needs to be comfortable to put the child at ease.

My pussy, cunt, vagina, etc. for some reason was named coo coo for as long as I can remember. That's just what my mother called it. Maybe that's what my grandmother called it. That's what my sister called it. Of course as we got older we decided for ourselves what we call that sacred space. Now it's mostly my chocha or choch for short, especially.

I'm not one for censoring my language. I curse in the house and in front of the seven year old MapucheRican. My daughter has been to quite a few of my poetry shows and there I curse like a drunken sailor as they say. Over the last few years I have decided not to censor her when she speaks to me. She knows that there are some words that are ok to use with me that the general population would find offensive.

Yesterday I sat down to discuss her body specifically privacy and safety when she uses the bathroom in school.
"You coo coo..." I began.
"Please don't use that word. I don't like it," the MapucheRican told me angrily.
I told her that we could together pick a word she was more comfortable with.
" We could use vagina, the real name," I offered as a suggestions.
" How about pussy?" She offers.
How about pussy? Did she pick that up from me playing the Pussy Manifesto? Did her friends use it? Did she hear it at one of my poetry shows?
I told her that pussy was probably inappropriate in school and with the family but that if she wanted to use that word with me it was cool.
She seemed happy and we continued our conversation.


Blogger Fea said...

Ur daughter always cracks me up... love her to death.

9/21/2004 04:17:00 PM  
Blogger maaarco said...

¿¿¿¿quien diantres dice "coo-coo"???? ¿El coo-coo no es ese tipo que vive debajo de la cama y te mata si te despiertas en la noche? And anyhow, I thought all puerto ricans called it the po-po?

9/21/2004 11:48:00 PM  
Blogger Fea said...

that would be cuco... not coo-coo.. ur putting the accent in the wrong place. :0)

9/22/2004 02:42:00 AM  

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