Monday, September 20, 2004

Ya se Fue

After spending most of the day making a paper bag puppet with the MapucheRican, I called him to say goodbye and it felt like the heaviest, saddest thing.
Suddenly he seemed unsure as to when he would be back but said that regardless I needed to go out to Cali. , not just to see him but because he thinks there are opportunities for me and the MapucheRican there. Not to mention the warmth (ok where the hell did summer freaking go?). But somewhere deep inside I felt like none of that will happen. That he won't return for awhile and me, with my financial situation, it doesn't look like I'll be traveling anywhere anytime soon.

I looked back at my journals from when we first met, when we dated, three years ago. I was fragile, mentally unstable. No wonder he didn't want to be with me then. I wouldn't want to be with me then based on what I read. Both he and I, pushed our relationship forward at breakneck speed. Maybe him moving was the best thing that happened to us. Maybe it gave us enough distance to heal from our respective war wounds.

No se. And on will go now my life here in NYC.


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