Sunday, November 21, 2004

Questions Upon my Return

Do long distance relationships work? I mean really work, until one gets up and packs his/her bags to be where the other one is? Sht I haven't been in a long-dstance relationship since I was 18 and in college and let me tell you that didn't work. It's clear that although there is no name for what el Cubano and I have, it is a long distance relationship. It only has taken us 3 and a half years to realize that despite our resistance to that label and reality.

So now I am actively planning to return to LA for the mapucherican's christmas break and el cubano last night comes clean as to what he realized he really wants. He wants la mapucherican and I to move out there with him. Wow. That's heavy stuff for me to hear at 2 am. Am I insane to even consider this as an option? We're both certified , true, but could it work? Of course all plans require the Mapucherican's approval, and el cubano told me also not just to do it for her or because he loves her and treats her so well (he does). He wants me to do it because I want to be there, and be with him as well. Of course there are details, financials, schooling, work to consider, but it doesn't hurt to think about it does it? How much time do people realistocally need to transplant their lives from one coast to another?

Or is all that is happening just a manic episode on his part, and a self-destructive pattern recreating itself on my part?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is it up for the little one's approval? That sounds like wayyyy too much responsibility to be giving her. No. She's 7, she doesn't get to decide where she lives or who her mom lives with. It's not even good for her to think she has that power. Or am I misunderstanding this?

Glad stuff is going well for you!!!

xx, S

11/21/2004 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger EL CUBANO said...

IS it really a long distance relationship? There seems to be a stigma with that label which i dont particularly care for. Since Mala chose that, well, that also can be used to describe my relationship with my entire family and friends on the east coast.
Yes I am manic, but even in a depressed state, I know that I love Mala and Mapucherican. I will also admit that as strong as I am, I need help to live my everyday life, even when I lived on the east coast. WHat Ive learned from Mala is that I can trust her and it helps that I love her and her daughter. I need someone I can trust to be with me on a day to day basis and for very, very sound reasons, I want that person to be you, Mala.
On another note,although just being with Mapucherican tells me what a fantastic mother MALA is, Im under strong impression MALA needs what I need, and that is someone to watch over her, to care of her, to love her and grow with. I want to be that person.

AM I still sending mixed messages?

11/22/2004 12:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Other than El Cubano, what else is there *for you*? Meaning work, school, a social life, etc.? All the pieces have to fit together, mami.

11/22/2004 09:25:00 AM  

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