Sunday, March 20, 2005

He’s Just Not That Into You

I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I read this book. Almost because the book I read before the pink covered one was a book about policing community policing and quality of life policing history and strategies. Almost because well hell I have a good excuse for reading a book that I would categorize as beneath my intellectual level. I have no money right now to spend on some of the books I do want to read like a book by Marcela Serrano and Nabokov among many others (you should really see my book list ).
So really you are lucky I am reading anything at all.

I picked up the book off my sister’s desk because she has an endless supply of fluffy self-help for single women type books. He’s Not Just That Into You was sitting next to Closing the Deal (I started reading that too but thinking about marriage right now just makes me more depressed).

Yes the book is based on a Sex and the City episode. Miranda feels like she has been liberated when a man not calling her or accepting her invitation to come upstairs after a date means that well that guy is just not into her (yes I am ashamed that I remember the episode. Damn that cable on-demand shit that let me catch up on what I missed when I refused to watch Sex and the City when everyone else was watching it).

The book is extremely old fashioned in so many ways and goes against so many things I value, like degrading myself and self-loathing. Ok I am kidding. The book really allows the male to have the control in the relationship (yes the book read “He’s Not Just That Into You” the you implied being a hetero female. Everyone else is spared). He’s just not that into if he doesn’t call. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t fuck you. He’s just not that into if he doesn’t call you for three weeks, that’s right we are going on three weeks of El Cubano not calling me, not even collect!!!! Oh wait that was not a chapter in the book. Anyway so the idea is if a man doesn’t call you back, is married, disappears, doesn’t bang you etc. etc. etc. then you should dump him and wait because there is a man who will do all those things and more. Because we are beautiful women (yes the book keeps telling the presumed female reader how hot and desirable she is).

What the book doesn’t say is that sometime relationships are work and that not everything is going to be easy. I mean is everything supposed to just be given to me? I’m not justifying asshole behavior. In fact I am trying to reject things that aren’t good for me including people. But maybe I’m a hopeless romantic. Doesn’t love conquer all in the end?

So yes He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo is like that cute but not so smart friend of yours. She’s fun for about 10 minutes then you’re bored because she just repeats herself. But it was a New York Times Best-Seller so what the hell do I know.

I do know that there is a counter-book out called Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either. I suppose I should read that too but since my sister doesn’t own it and I ain’t buying it, I’ll sneak reads every time I go to the gym since the book store is next to the sweat palace.

So tell me how do you know someone isn’t into you or how do you show you aren’t into someone?

Me, when I’m not into someone I never call them. Like never. And I am always too busy or too tired to go out. My daughter being sick or me not having a sitter are always good signs too that I am really not that into you. Of course all these things may be true but if they happen all the time well I am just not that into you.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's funny is I was listening to the radio when the book came out and Greg, the co-author was the guest and admitted he used to be a comedian (not a therapist, psychiatrist, etc.) and that you don't really have to buy the book. The bottum line is if he doesn't contact you, he's not that into you. So basically, he kind of said, save your $ unless you want to make me wealthier. I understand what he's saying though, not that if he doessn't contact you, he doesn't care about you. What I think is likely is that he cares more about himself (note my experience).Many people like to manipulate.

3/21/2005 12:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if i'm not into someone, i just tell them, straight up. i see it as the mature thing to do. if one does not do this, then one discomforts his/herself by having to deal with the calls/emails/texts/etc of said suitor until she/he gets the point that one is not interested in her/him.

i have gone the "fade into black" route and have realised that it does not end well if somehow we bump into each other in the future. i end up being the ass who never called back and was too coward to say "i am just not that into you." take.

3/22/2005 04:09:00 PM  

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