Wednesday, June 01, 2005

susceptible

It had been six months since I stood up on a stage and performed my poetry. My absence from the spotlight that I love can be blamed on a number of factors. Please note that the last time I performed was right before I went to Los Angeles to visit el Cubano. Please note that 6 months ago was more or less the same time that certain rockeros began spreading rumors at the place I primarily perform and hang out about spreading legs. My money situation has been sucky the last six months and anyone who knows anything about me knows I need a good glass of red wine or two and a camel light to be at my best.

A week ago I made an unexpected comeback. It was unexpected even for me. I had just come from a fruitless evening search for a good sports bra when la Fea called asking if I wanted to go to D'Antigua for the tertulia. After securing a ride to and from as well as a glass of wine I agreed and quickly changed into my "money" jeans and a new shirt I had bought a week before. I didn't bother to put on a bra and I threw some makeup on my face.

I wasn't booked to perform and I didn't expect that after such a long absence I would just be invited to get up on stage but my gut told me to bring something just in case. So I printed Natural Disasters, in English and in Spanish and stuffed it into my pocketbook.

Once I arrived I was greeted warmly and asked to perform. Of course I said yes and then became incredibly nervous. I drink two glasses of red wine so quickly and smoked cigarettes in the rain as I practiced my difficult translation. Maybe it was also the subject matter. It is the first poem I have ever written about el Cubano. I was too nervous even to worry about el Ecuarockero not saying hi to la fea.I was concerned about the Spanish getting tangled around my tongue and the audience seeing nipples through my shirt.

When I was called in from the rain , despite my absence, some audience members remembered me. I went up on stage and excused my poor Spanish before I began. The audience was good to me, quiet and respectful, much more so than they were with the performers that preceded me. All was going well until I choked on a word, "susceptible". It just wouldn't come out and that fact ruined my head for the rest of the evening.

The worse part is that the next day I was going all over Queens with the word "susceptible" rolling off my tongue and bouncing off my lips.

3 Comments:

Blogger Ms Cherry Galette said...

oh honey, i am sure you rocked. and good for you for getting up and doing your thing, it takes courage. it's funny, the same thing happened to me recently. i was doing a new poem, and the spanish got tangled in my mouth. i felt hella foolish. and the next day of course the words were rolling round in my head and outta my mouth repeatedly. i think we are prolly harder critics on ourselves tho, you know? i'm sure you were great. :)

6/02/2005 09:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only is "Susceptible" a tongue twister, it is visually confusing, an optical illusion. It's one of those words where you look at it and say "that's not right."

As CG says, I'm sure you rocked.

--SE.

6/02/2005 11:39:00 AM  
Blogger Fea said...

she did rock. and she didn't just get asked to perform.. she was begged. she has a huge following at d'antigua and did i mention that she rocked??

6/02/2005 09:17:00 PM  

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