Saturday, October 22, 2005

Don't let me be misunderstood


I'm not wallowing in sadness or anything. Si, the situation is sad. I had an over 4 year history with this man. As I put away the photographs and things he's left behind I remember he was fiercely sexy and engaging and treated me like I was the sexiest thing, smartest thing in fishnets. Pues claro I mourn the way you mourn anything that dies but I will not be overcome by this. Carajo a part of me is mad, mad that I was a pendeja enough to fall for him and his charming ways again. Mad that I wasted time inventing a life in my head that would never come to fruition. Pero in that time I have also grown a lot. In many ways I am a healthier person emotionally after going through all this. That is why I am not falling apart.

More than anything I am restless now. I'm not in any rush to find anything. I just want to live and play and write and fuck and dance. Yeah I'm really in the mood to dance tonight.

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