Saturday, October 22, 2005

Scary Stories Around Every Esquina

This is not a Halloween story. This is about my fear of walking alone late at night. This about fearing which woman at the playground will get killed by her partner, this is about never letting my daughter walk home from school alone.

Red, Orange, yellow terror alerts don't scare me, walking in my own neighborhood as a woman feels plenty scary enough thank you. These things happen everywhere I know. It just feels like attacks on women have been happening more and more around me, wondering when/if it is my turn.

Since the last series of rapes in my hood I don't go out as often as I used to. I rarely go out alone. The last week of running around, if it was after a certain hour I would suck it up and pay for a cab if I didn't have someone to give me a ride or be on the subway with me.

I wonder how to explain all of this to my hijita. Everyday she grows more independent and that is not a spirit I want to crush. Pero at age 13 in broad daylight she runs the risk of being raped like the nena not too far from where we live. I can't imagine myself picking her up at high school pero if las cosas siguen asi what are my options really. I can enroll her in self-defense classes again, teach her about being safe. But I also want her to revel in being a girl so she can grow up and revel in being a mujer, too bad other people, including governments who condone violence and invasions and rapes against others while paying lip service to fighting against violence against mujeres and girls, too bad they have other plans for my hijita and for me.

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