Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wanna be Learned?

LOUDMouth Zine out of Los Angeles wants to learn you something. Their education issue is out and looks as hot and thought provoking as ever. You can download the latest issue as a PDF file on their site , which you can also reach by clicking on the LOUDMouth icon on the sidebar. If you are in the Los Angeles area you can pick up a hard copy at Cal State L.A., iBrowse (Alhambra), 33 1/3 (Echo Park), Back to the Grind (Riverside). I have an article in there about my battle with the English as a Second Language (esl) program in my daughter's NYC public school.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Random Notes and Questions

It is generally not a good idea to get into a business arrangement with a relative. Especially if that relative is your crazy sister.

Oh yeah, when I write that something is a story that is what it is. Parts may ring true but that's what writing is no (haters need not respond unless they have published something recently). But yes someone did give me a fruit tart and it had strawberries and kiwis and melon slices and it was so frigging delicious.

I am busy with deadlines through Wends. I have put myself on lockdown till then but looking ahead I am debating if I want to invest time in actively dating. I have pending invites with former lovers/amorphous nameless relationship partners. Given my track record I am leaning towards letting sleeping dogs lie. Ex's are ex's for a reason. Verdad? But then again it's not like the invitations are streaming in from new applicants and I need adult time.



O

Monday, November 28, 2005

Runaway Bride on a Tortilla!!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Sacrificio (Beware of men bearing sweets) - A story

I knew what he was going to ask me even though he refused to be specific on the phone.
"I'll bring over a cake and we'll talk about it," he told me.

Beware of men bearing sweets. Whenever my father had bad news he would take my sister and I for ice cream. My father, usually a cheap I mean frugal man, would say, "Get whatever you want. A sundae maybe?" and my dopey sister and I would order sundaes with hot fudge and whipped cream and nuts and cherry. When we were about half way done with our sundaes my dad would make his announcement. One year it was that he was getting married. Another year it was that his wife was pregnant. We would never finish the ice cream. We would shove our napkins into the cup and stir and stir until there was nothing but a papery sweet melted mush.

He was late which annoyed me because it was throwing my whole planned schedule off. I had writing to get done, bills to pay, and students. I also needed to get some laundry done yesterday. He called me an hour after we were supposed to meet.
"I'm almost there" he told me happily.
"Look you're an hour late and I have shit to get done, so why don't you just ask me what you want to ask me so I can tell you no and we'll get it over with"
"That's why I love you mami"
"Look just come over and hurry up and yes I still want the divorce". I hung up; irritated that everything was a flirtation with him no matter how hard I tried to keep it on the business tip.

When I looked through the peephole I saw him wearing a beige corduroy jacket much too thin for the cold. He was carrying a white box. I opened the door, kissed him on the cheek and grabbed the box.
"Well well well, what do we have here?"
"Pumpkin pie" he told me.
I fucking hate pumpkin pie.
I offered him a glass of water (I was not going to make fucking coffee for him. Coffee is an invitation to linger).
He accepted and I went into the kitchen to get the water and examine my "pumpkin pie" which thankfully upon opening the box I discovered was not pumpkin pie but a fruit tart.

I went back into the living room, gave him the glass of water and asked" So what is this favor?"
"How did you know I was going to ask if we could delay the divorce?" he asked me all fascinated like I had done some divination/brujeria.
"Hombre...I filled papers months ago and you've been stalling. You are not speaking to some pendeja on the street".
"Well yes you are right, you are no pendeja.” he said softly.
"I want my life back so no. The divorce will go forward and as soon as possible please. I want my life back. I hate filling out the boxes that say married on every official form I come across".
He apologized and said he would go see the lawyer as soon as he left.
I made a motion to him indicating that the time to do that was now.

I kissed him on the cheek goodbye and locked the door behind him, watching through the peephole as he got into the elevator.
I then went to the kitchen, made a fresh pot of coffee, and ate a piece of fruit tart.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Like the Good Ole Days- A Rican Family holiday dinner

I made it to my abuela's house yesterday evening just as the food was being served (perfect timing no?). The small apartment was packed, with people sitting and eating and gossiping in every room. I saw primos and primas of mine that I hadn't seen in years. So many years in fact that when I went into my abuela's building with my
hermana, we nearly walked past these tall handsome guys who ended up being our cousins.
Another cousin and his wife and kids came up from Florida. Mi hija and another prima ran around the apartment laughing and playing hide and go seek. The trays of arroz barely made it out of the kitchen with people scooping up what my titi ha cooked. When it was time to leave it took, no lie, 45 minutes to go around the place and kiss and say goodbye to everyone. It reminded me of when I was a child. Sunday at Abuela's was always like this, not because it was a holiday. There were so many of us cousins running, playing and tormenting each other. At the end of the night we would be kissing and crying all over each other even if we had been fighting and tattling on each other the entire visit.

Ah only 1 month till the next holiday.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I Don't Even Like Turkey

When I was a kid , my parents would take me to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. I remember drinking lots of hot chocolate and being really cold. Later on in my life, my father and his wife would cook up huge feasts complete with cranberry citrus relish in small ceramic turkeys. It was a miracle that we weren't made to wear Pilgrim hats It was the beginning of las navidades. It was the day we could take out the Christmas tree. Some years I went to see the Nutcracker ballet at Lincoln City followed by pastries in Little Italy. But no one ever ever ever spoke to me about Indigenous culture, even if my great great grandmother was a proud Taina. No one spoke to me about genocide and invasion and maybe those are things you shouldn't tell children. But I think it was less about childish innocence and more about general ignorance. I remember when things started to unfold, in terms of my politics, in terms of my history and understanding of it I was in shock. Sometimes I would be moved to tears out of confusion and of release, as if genetically, spiritually I had an "Ah ha!" moment when the nonsense started to make sense.

And I look at my MapucheRican, all 8 years (and then some somewhere deep in there- she's an old soul esa hija mia) of her. Long limbed, triguenita daughter of a Mapuche , a Chileno, a Puerto Rican, a Nuyorican. So much history in her. She's just happy to have the day off. And I wonder how much do I tell. How much do I tell about what really went down when Europeans came to what is now the United States, to what is now Puerto Rico, to what is now Chile. How is it that we are here, in this place and this context.

I'm grateful this morning that I didn't have to wake up so early to take my daughter to school, but that is not different from a Saturday or Sunday morning. I'm grateful for my family but I am fully aware of that, even when they get on my last nerve. I am grateful that this year la MapucheRican doesn't have a teacher who talks about Columbus Day and Thanksgiving Day. But that too is everyday. Everyday I scour her books and folders to deal with any miseducation/information head on.

My daughter doesn't like the taste of turkey , like me, like my mother. I'll take some pernil, a ham or any other pork product any day. And that's what this is, anyday. Any and everyday something slams into me, reminding me of my place in history and this world. The differences are minor. A visit to my grandmother's which happens regardless of what parade is rolling down 5th Avenue. Relatives who moved will appear. There will be drama an bochinche in Abuela's apartment. Again, that is not a special occasion. An invitation to a friend's house stands, that is more about one girl's birthday than anything else.

I'll spend most of my day listening to WBAI , finishing work and spending time with la Mapu.


Have a beautiful , thoughtful day

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Tertulia Fiesta Tonight

Fusion Atomica will be celebrating two years of tertuliando tonight. There will poetry and music starting at 9 pm-ish at D'antigua in Jackson Heights. Go and support and represent.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Don't Forget About Tonight!!!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Don't Ask Don't Tell (from the ex-files)

Hay preguntas, preguntas that stick in the back of your mind and you want to ask but you don't por el miedo. The fear is in the answer and in the expectation of what the answer will be. For example, when you ask that certain someone you want to fuck, "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" you want the answer (usually) to be no, to avoid guilt, regret, or that uncomfortable meeting at a party where you are there with her/him and there established partner. Yeah. I know how that feels. Of course they could lie or half lie or lie by omitting information.

But that's not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about sharing one too many glasses of wine with an ex who happens to be an ex-marine. He is the ex I and others put on a pedestal. The relationship that I fucked up, not once, but twice and yet he keeps showing up,on my block, on my doorstep, on my mouth. I had been curious, thinking he was too good to engage in certain acts that degrade women that men in the military stereotypically engage in. After much coaxing he answered the question : had he? And the answer wasn't what I expected, what I wanted and I was disappointed in him and my idealized vision of him.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Parent - Teacher Night

Nothing reminds you more of your maternal status than Parent-Teacher Conferences. Children in the hallways say "Hi MapucheRican's mother" instead of anything resembling your name. You sit with teachers and administrators and try to act the part when most of the time you don't feel the part.

I feel lucky this year. La Mapu has a teacher that I really love. This year is the first time la Mapu will be taking those horrible stupid high stakes state standardized tests. Her teacher does not teach for the test, in fact the actual test prep has been minimal with a greater focus on the skills and ideas that school should be teaching. When I sat in on the class on Monday morning I was happy to see that the teacher really has an interdisciplinary approach and was reading with a class a book about a Rican girl whose teacher wanted to change her name to make it easier for everyone to pronounce (something my daughter can relate to).

But it is hard not to notice the fact that throughout the day students labeled as requiring special services, including English as a Second Language (ESL) and speech service, are pulled out of the main classroom once, twice, three times a day. It doesn't seem to matter if what is happening in the classroom is important. These students are not given the notes or information later. I know because my child was one of those children. In first grade she was labeled as requiring ESL services because her last name was Latino and because she couldn't read. Because she was missing so much of what was happening in the main classroom the school was threatening to leave her back and yet the school told me there was no way to get her out of this "pull out" ESL program even though she didn't need it. She had test out of the program at the end of the school year. Based on my own personal experience I have to say that I doubt the efficacy of such pull out program and wonder what a push in program would look like.

That said, la MapucheRican is doing well in school with the exception of one subject: Writing. Ah the irony of all ironies is that the writer's daughter hates writing.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Wanna Know What I'm Listening Too While I Write?

Well you're enough of a voyeur to keep visiting so see my strange musical tastes here: http://www.last.fm/user/mamitamala/

Two Chances to See Me Next Week!



If you look on the sidebar on the right you'll see I'm performing on Tuesday. If you were ever a member of an obscure Chilean rap/rock band or are a Bolivian rockero who likes to sing through a megaphone , I suggest not coming or come on the dl. I'm still deciding if I should include the Dominicano musician. So Dominicano you may be spared but maybe not, so come at your own risk.

Which reminds me - I NEED A MEGAPHONE!!! Does anyone have one they can lend me? Seriously.

Buy your tickets early

If you hate me and think I suck there are other great people performing that night like:
Blaise K.
Michelle Collins
Josh Reynolds
Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman
Dan Rhatigan

Wednesday- Tertulia Party!!!!
The beautiful (inside and out) gente of Fusion Atomica are celebrating two years of tertuliando. There will be music and poetry and I even heard that there will be a dj for some culo shakin. I don't know if I'll be performing. I have a poem I want to perform (brand spanking new poema titled Sex satellite) but I haven't been confirmed (oye tertulia gente- can I perform it).

You can click on the calendar on the sidebar--------------------->
for details.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Sick Sick Sick

I haven't been sick for awhile then comes today.
It sucks when you're sick and you still have to take care of another person.
It sucks when you're sick and there is no one to take care of you.
Whine Whine Whine

I had to cancel night plans for tapas and sangria which really annoys me because well tapas and sangria are nice things to share with someone.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm Controversial!

Surprise surprise. Seems that whenever I open my mouth or put pen to paper and finger to keyboard I piss someone off. A friend and fellow poeta hooked me up and arranged for a poem (or 2....I still haven't seen the paper!!!) to be published in a local newspaper. So far I've gotten positive feedback from people who have seen it but apparently my amiga is taking some heat.

I feel bad bad bad not for what I wrote of course ( I never regret anything I write or say) but because the fucked up peeps at the paper are making this super cool mujer feel bad. The angry spic in me wants to defend my words and my right to write them and this fellow poet's right to choose to publish them. But it's her job, her life all I can do is defend my own words and have her back.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The privilege of Writing, kissing, fucking

Fabulosa Mujer writing about privilege got me thinking and got me whining.

I've been writing a lot. Problem is that it's mostly work . Which means boring academic things and analysis. I have been editing writing of third graders through grad students. In the meantime I have poems and stories to write, performances to prepare for and forget that whole November novel writing thing. It's horrible horrible. I wish I could write what I want to but alas my daughter needs to eat so I have to work.

It's been almost month since someone has had their tongue in my mouth or anywhere else for that matter.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

See me (and other bloggers) in just one week!!!

NYC Bloggers Turn On, Tune In, Drop Our, and Hook Up in
“I’m With The Band!”

This month’s WYSIWYG Talent Show, the first-ever all-blogger series of
readings and performances, follows NYC bloggers on tour with Foghat,
smoking their first doobies, making out with the Groupie Elite, and
living
to tell it all just for you. Remember when you first boarded that tour
bus
in 1973, a fresh-faced 15-year-old, totally unprepared for the wave of
psychedelic-laced debauchery that lay ahead? This month we take you way
back through the clouds of purple haze to that glorious morning when
you
woke up on top of the lead vocalist with a bottle of Jim Beam in one
hand
and a stripper's breast in the other. Join the WYSIWYG cast as they
make
YOU part of their rock ‘n’ roll fantasy, yeah!

Tuesday, November 22, at 7:30 p.m. at
Performance Space 122
150 1st Ave. at East 9th St.
Tickets: $7 – visit http://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/255 for advance
tickets, or stop by the P.S. 122 box office the night of the show
(there
are always a few extras at the door!)

WYSIWYG performers for November include:

* Blaise K. (http://www.bazima.com)
* Michelle Collins (http://youncantmakeitup.blogspot.com)
* Josh Reynolds (http://joshreynolds.blogspot.com)
* Giulia Rozzi (http://giuliaiscuteandcheap.blogspot.com) and Margot
Leitman
* Maegan “la Mala” (http://mamitamala.blogspot.com)
* Dan Rhatigan (http://ultrasparky.org)

Performer Bios:

Blaise K.’s Bazima.com was named “Best Well-Written Blog That Still
Shows
The T&A” by the Village Voice in October -- the same time that Gawker
named the Village Voice a “frequently stultifying weekly.” Since 2001,
Bazima.com has won numerous useless awards and has been written up in
several New York publications with questionable reputations. Blaise is
a
freelance writer, web designer and photographer whose amazing
photographs
can be found at www.thisisblaise.com (T&A included). She is STILL
working
on her first novel and, on a good night, she is still available for
parties.

Michelle Collins (youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com ) is a writer and
stand-up
comic at various clubs and venues around New York. She has appeared on
MTV, Oxygen, the Sundance Channel, Russian CNN, and is a contributor to
TVGasm. She was the director and spokeswoman of Votergasm.org, a youth
movement that inspired over 50,000 Americans to vote and have sex on
Election Day. Rush Limbaugh called her “a depraved lunatic,” and you
will
too. Michelle was just crowned one of Heeb Magazine’s 100 “Jews to
Watch,”
and will be seen on VH1’s upcoming “Totally Awesomely Jewish.” Her
dream
is to run the media, or get killed trying.

Josh Reynolds (joshreynolds.blogspot.com) hosts a monthly barroom
spelling
bee, plays in a garage band called The 'Plants (nee "The Transplants")
and
went as Papa Smurf for Halloween last year.

Originally from Boston, Giulia Rozzi came to New York after working as
a
stand-up comic at the Comedy Store in LA for over three years. In
addition to performing stand-up around NYC, Giulia is also the
co-producer
of the monthly story-telling series "Brutal Honesty" and the hit NYC
(and
soon Boston) show "Mortified" in which adults read thier teenage
diaires,
poems, letters and more. She is at work on her second solo show "Full,"
set to debut this winter. Visit her at
giuliaiscuteandcheap.blogspot.com
and giuliarozzi.com.

Margot Leitman is originally from Matawan, NJ (the town in between
where
Bon Jovi and Skid Row are from). Her critically-acclaimed one-woman
show
about her journey as an unlikely substitute teacher, "Just Here For the
Day," just finished a five month run at the UCB Theatre and is being
pitched as a sitcom to various networks. You can catch Margot on VH1's
"Best Week Ever," at comedy venues throughout the city, and in the
upcoming national tour of Montreal Comedy Festival's "Dating It."

Maegan “la Mala” is a born and bred Queens Nuyorican single mami,
Espanglish poeta, freelance writer, and all around rabble-rouser. She’s
spent many years working on grassroots activist campaigns, shamelessly
exhibits herself on her personal blog Mamita Mala - One Bad Mami
(mamitamala.blogspot.com) and is editor of the recently launched blog
VivirLatino (vivirlatino.com/). When not blogging she can be found
working
on her novel and short stories and spitting poesia in clubs in NYC,
dragging her daughter behind her.

Dan Rhatigan (or “Sparky,” as you may know him) has been blogging
longer
than most of you, and also does some graphic design, photography,
teaching, and junk like that. Before he succumbed to his inner nerd, he
was once first-runner-up in the “Sassiest Boy in America” contest. He
can
be found at ultrasparky.org.

About WYSIWYG:

“Urban Storytelling for the Internet Age” -- The WYSIWYG Talent Show is
a
monthly series of readings and performances by bloggers living in or
visiting NYC. The first WYSIWYG event was the messy, spectacular and
wildly successful “Worst. Sex. Ever.: An Anti-Valentine’s Day Reading”
in
February of 2004. It has been followed monthly with variously themed
evenings and just opened its third season last month with “First, Last,
and Insecurity: The World’s Worst Roommates.” Each installment is an
evening of funny and touching stories, songs and performances from some
of
the best writers and most interesting personalities on the Web. More
information can be found at http://www.wysiwygtalentshow.org.

Performance Space 122 is located at 150 First Avenue at 9th St.
(accessible from the #6 at Astor Place or the L at First Avenue). “I’m
with the Band” will be held on November 15, 2005 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets
are
$7 and can be purchased at the door, or in advance by visiting
http://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/255, or stop by the P.S. 122 box
office
the night of the show.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Historia de mi vida sexual

Names have been changed into lame ass nicknames and apodos which very thinly veil the identities of the guilty (there are no innocents)

Siento que ando media perdida. Not so much in terms of my writing/work. I just wish I had more time for that. As it is tonight I will get little sleep as I have two tight deadlines hanging over my head. I am talking about being perdida in matters of the heart and a little lower in my anatomy as well.

Being pulled (kicked?) quickly out of a relationship that I almost swore would be my own has thrown me into a mind space where I analyze and over analyze every kiss I steal in the back of a tertulia or with a long lost lover and every fuck on someone's sofa or in my own bed (and on my sofa). I grew too comfortable in my role of taken woman and now I am struggling to find my next comfort zone and confronting that fact that there may not be one.

I insist it was not a misunderstanding on my part but rather an omission on his part, he the last person I have had the pleasure of bedding (sofa-ing?). I mean it's hard not to pay attention or remember, at least for me, when someone I am flirting with tells me they are partnered. Usually (usually I repeat) that is a deal breaker. Ok ok so we were both drinking the night I ended up in a bathroom with my jeans round my ankles and his mouth below my appendicitis scar. And we were both drinking the night I went home with cum soaked turquoise fishnets in my purse. But the last time (hmmm maybe that's why it was the last time- oh no we were making out in the back of a bar almost three weeks ago) we were both very sober when his finger found his way beneath my shirt to my nipple which led to well.....I'm sure you can imagine.

I am a generous lover, in bed and out of bed. Meaning if I intend or am interested in keeping you as a lover I will show my pleasure not just through naked acts but in other ways. You are truly a friend with benefits. Do not let that be misunderstood as wooing. Maybe it is a glorified form of prostitution. No se. It's not that I expect sexual exclusivity, just discretion and honesty.

Which leads me to Etiquette for Lovers, Fuck Buddies, and Other Amorphous relationships.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Felicidades and Morning After Party Wishes

Un abrazo muy muy fuerte a la Nicole Cecilia. It was beautiful spending time en your casita anoche celebrando tu birthday!!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

2005 Mala Awards : Because Everyone Else Has an Awards Show

You've been reading my life. Maybe you've been living parts of it with me outside this blog. I am compiling by best/worst list for the end of the year, which is fast approaching.

Here's what I need from you dear readers:

1. For you to invent wonderfully delicious categories with no real meaning. For example, best performance by a Colombian lover this year goes to (there have been a few) Worst performance by a long distance boyfriend. Etc.

2. Tell me your nominees. Read through the blog, the archives and remind me how great/terrible something was. Sure if you're the subject feel free to nominate yourself.

3. Award....I need a fabulous design for a fabulous award. What should the awards be? If ny creative person can think of a creative visual they will have eternal gratitude .

Friday, November 11, 2005

Why I Sold Out and Voted for Ferrer

Someone once said that your vote is private and you don't have to tell anyone who you voted for or why. Considering all the shit I wrote/spoke about Freddy Ferrer, you'd think that would be good advice for me to take. Pero in an effort to constantly be honest and open here (let's see if I get brave enough to write about my sexual misadventures) I will tell you what lever I flipped earlier this week.

I had no fucking idea what I was going to do when I stepped into the voting booth. I knew where I stood on the budget proposals. No one was running against my City Council person (so much for a real election, and I knew that I would not vote for Bloomberg. But then who to vote for NYC Mayor. Ferrer was not the obvious choice. Yeah he was Rican, yeah he was a Democrat but that doesn't mean he represents. What the hell did he do when Ricans were being executed by police in the Bronx. Remember Anthony Baez, Anthony Rosario, and Hilton Vega. Look it up. Then there was his flip flop on the Diallo murder.

That left me with the Green Party guy and the Rent is too damn high guy.

The Green party annoys me with there lip service to diversity and equality and yet they are pretty damn white. On election day a handful of Green Party members of color were overheard harassing people in Brooklyn for not voting while simultaneously praising Starbucks for their employee treatment (if you could only see me rolling my eyes).

I think I would have voted for that Rent is too damn high guy except he seemed no se, a little unstable. I mean hell we're all unstable pero I couldn't do it.

So there I stood on Tuesday, November 8 with everything selected in my voting booth except mayor.
"Hurry up Mami! I'm hungry!" my daughter complained.
"Fuck it" I said and flipped the lever for Ferrer (may diosa forgive me).
I felt dirty but at least later that night when Bloomberg was declared the winner, I could say don't blame me.

Blame my mom and sister who did vote for Bloomberg.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

You know it's a good tertulia when

you get groped and someone ends up in handcuffs (not related to the groping).

Ay what a night.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Quieres Salir Esta Noche?

Make your way over to Jackson Heights to get your fix of musica y poesia at Fusion Atomica's Tertulia tonight at D'Antigua. At the tertulia you can also get the latest copy of a very hot 'zine la Orgullosa Calaquita.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Do You Know What Today Is?

Claro it's not as exciting as waking up and finding Christmas gifts but people still need to get their asses out of bed, out of their office chairs and vote. Let me clear about my position on voting. It is not the answer. So Mala, if voting is not the answer then why the fuck should I even bother? Because it is a tool and every and all tools at our disposal as a community should be used. So yes maybe you're vote along won't do anything but your vote along with actively doing something in your community be it as an activist or a cultural worker can change things.

If we don't use it, we risk losing it. It wasn't too long ago that people of color and women could not vote. If you don't like any candidate (I still have no clear picture of what I will do shortly once in that voting booth) write a candidate in. do something but for carajo's sake be counted.

When you do go out to vote today , keep your eyes and ears open. Polling places, especially in people of color communities have been notorious for trying to take away people's right to vote via misinformation, fear tactics, and lack of adequate translation services. Also be aware of the millions of people here in the U.S. that cannot vote because of their so called lack of status. These are neighbors, friends, lovers who work here and contribute to society. Ask them what they think is important to them and check out which candidates have been doing right and wrong by them.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Why Can't We Hook This Up in New York?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Etiquette for Lovers/Fuck Buddies and Other Amorphous Relationships

Is there such a book? An online guide? Because if there isn't there needs to be one and it needs to be bi-lingual, Nah multilingual and multicultural. It needs to include do's and don'ts. Hmmm I feel a project to add to my ever growing wish list of things I want to do when ever I get any real amount of time (instead of writing about the use of manipulatives in the classroom).

If there is such a book I need to know. I have an ever growing list of people who could use it. If not I will have to write one. Really.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

On a Personal Note : My Sources Say No

All the signs were there pointing to a big ass failure. Los Angeles is not meant to have me there. My L.A. based boyfriend disappeared on the cusp of our one year anniversary and now today in a lovely envelope a not so lovely rejection letter from the L.A. based fellowship I applied to a few months back. Apparently I am a crappy poet and apparently this week I needed just one more reason to be depressed.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Hey I'm With the Band

Come see/hear me and other bloggers talk 'bout being with the band. Mis aventuras with musicos Chilenos in the La Serena as well as with middle aged rockeros will be revealed!!!!!

Tuesday, November 22, at 7:30 p.m. at P.S. 122
150 1st Ave. at East 9th St.

Tickets are $7 —

Featuring:

Michelle Collins (youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com)

Blaise K. (bazima.com)

Maegan "la Mala" (mamitamala.blogspot.com)

Josh Reynolds (joshreynolds.blogspot.com)

Dan Rhatigan (ultrasparky.org)

Giulia Rozzi (giuliaiscuteandcheap.blogspot.com) and Margot Leitman

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Are All Modern Girls Gringas and Straight?

I think it's my reclaimed soltera status that has me musing so much on sex and relationships. And when a NYRican thinks about sex and relationships she also thinks about power plays and gender roles which means that yes I will use those scary not so little words: race, class, ethnicity.

In a much talked about New York Time's Magazine article last Sunday, Maureen Dowd (is she like the anti-Judith Miller?)asks What's a Modern Girl to do?. The article is basically about the roles women have been told to aspire to and how they fail or succeed and why.

There were parts of the article that I found myself nodding my head to. I was never the time of activist to shun lipstick or looking cute in the name of the struggle. That just wasn't (and still isn't) my style and believe me I took shit for it. I don't think that a feminist/womanist looks like any one thing and I love the fact that I change my look to suit my mood. At the same time my claiming my sexual power doesn't mean I'm all about my pussy. I want to be thought of as an intellectual talented writer in my fishnets.

I admit to cringing a little when Dowd wrote about how woman still want to be paid for and how we'll do the fake reach into our bags to pay for the check or at least our half of the check while really hoping for date to say " no no I'll get it". I'll admit I've done that but there are many many but's. I've done that when I've been with people whom I know can afford to pay for me. I'm a single mami/writer damnit so my wallet isn't bottomless. I do this not just with dates but yes even with friends who invite me out. When someone who has the ability to pay doesn't offer , yes it pisses me off only because when I have extra cash floating around (a rare thing) I pay. When I am with someone I know is worse off than me financially, I will pay. So it isn't so much a gender role thing for me as it is a money thing. In fact I have been known to tell a potential date straight up, "I'd love to go out to dinner/drinks/dancing with you but I'm broke so you will have to pay".

But Dowd's assumption that women are reverting to an older notion of finding a man to take care of them doesn't speak to the reality of women of color and lesbians. Back in the day Latina women , like my tias who came from Puerto Rico, didn't tend house while looking pretty. They worked in factories as seamstresses then tended house. It was and still is necessary when people of color are getting paid less and have fewer job opportunities.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I'm Still Aqui

I'm still here. Just swamped in projects and behind.