Thursday, January 12, 2006

Cum and Find Me

Ms. Nubian of Blac(k)ademic wrote about this issue at length but I thought I'd weigh in with my own experience of how people have "found" this blog. Just looking today at my visitors, people have come here looking for "SEX CHICA BLACK" , "latin mami trailers", "PIERNOTAS", "boricua mamis", "latinas big ass booty photos", "mala sex" oh and this picture, that yes is my own piernota. Then there is the fact that a site that I find extremely offensive because of the way it objectifies women of color and seems to have no problem with the sexploitation of women in the third world sex industry (to the point of promoting it) links here.

Do I blame myself? After all I am the one who in her own poetry and writing uses words like "fuck", "chocha" "puta" ( I can only imagine how this post will generate hits from people looking for something to jerk off to). I am the one who is a self-proclaimed exhibitionist and yes posts pictures of my stocking clad leg. Is it the fault of search engines like Google and their programmers who link my use of words to porn sites without filters for context? Are there even filters for context (come on web programmers...tell me!!)? Or is it the fault of a culture that has transformed Latina bodies into detachable mastabatory fodder. Big Asses. Brown, Black Asses. Breasts. Legs. We have become mutilated. Pieces instead of wholes. And am I because of this to be silenced about my sexuality? Can I not write about sex , good and bad and my experiences with it , and how it is a part of my identity as much as my being Puerto Rican, Nuyorican, a mami, a writer etc etc etc without it being stolen and placed into some exotic fantasy?

Yesterday I received an email from someone who came here, lured by my thigh highs. He did read my writing and came to the correct conclusion that I am more than a leg to be ordered from the internet version of KFC's value menu. But what was he expecting when he came here? Before the new year another male emailed me and basically began kicking it to me via email and it became obvious that he didn't bother to read anything about where I come from, what I think or to steal a line from one of my own poems, " the history my lips , hips, and tits carry".

This is not your porn site. I am not your exxxotic girl. I am not your throw away stereotype.

This is my fantasy and reality.

6 Comments:

Blogger starchild said...

you know I think about these things a lot, how people happen upon our blogs. sometimes they find mine by looking up "fucking whitegirls" which has a totally different meaning for me than it probably does for them. a lot of times I'll get the "how to become anorexic" search, but hopefully they leave realizing that eating problems are hell. It's disturbing, but hopefully (if they take the time to read) they leave with something new to think about.

1/12/2006 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger rabfish said...

I hope you keep writing your poetry with words like fuck, chocha and puta. We need more poems with those words that make us more real, and less objectified. If the people looking for objectification-kicks find them and are jolted into thinking differently, all the better.

I wonder if our next blog carnival should be about this issue, cuz it's really hitting a chord with a lot of woc bloggers.

1/12/2006 06:25:00 PM  
Blogger brownfemipower said...

you are so right mala. amen.

1/12/2006 06:26:00 PM  
Blogger fiercelyfab said...

this is a great post mala--love the sex positivity you proudly flaunt in your writing, it is necessary if you ask me to counter the puritanical way of culture and society trying to strip women of healthy sexual lives and the other extreme of complete objectification of "exotic" women of color.

1/14/2006 02:18:00 AM  
Blogger Ms.Maegan said...

Starchild: Yeah I mean I can only hope that people who come here looking for one thing leave with something greater than a hard on.

Rabfish: well as lomg as I fuck , have a chocha, and deconstruct the word puta, they will remain part of my poetic and general vocab.

brownfemipower: can I get an alleluia too!!?:)

Fabulosa (do you know I have a song I sing in my head whenever I see your name??)- It sucks sometimes though that I just can't enjoy my sexuality without it being wrapped up in so many other things sabes?

1/14/2006 01:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is an honest answer here ... i come for the sex stories and i see all of your activism posts akin to the annoying commercials when i am watching tv--cute, hopefully short and i am not paying much attention.

but i do know that this isn't your "goal," that to scroll on past it probably makes me a moron, or even a crazed sex-story moron at that, but i don't think that you should change your blog ... i don't see a problem with you trying to finagle both, this is your space to do whatever you want. just because i could care less about your poetry--whether or not it contains the words hips and tits in it or not, what rally you went to, or what new blogging ring you belong to, doesn't mean that you aren't succeeding in just "selling" sex. i bet there are people reading who are impressed with your more altruistic posts.

1/17/2006 12:47:00 PM  

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