Fear of Water

I have bathed every inch of this skin
And what is covered beneath it
In your waters.
Slowly
Methodically
Cautiously.

It is not that I am unfamiliar with the ritual of submerging.
Toes gripping the edge
Closing my eyes
Deep breath in
Hold
Bend knees
Push off
And jump.

I haven’t forgotten the baptismal birth water font
Or the 9 months of water world safety thatprecededd my salvation .
Nor have I forgotten that
Rush
Air bubbles
From tip toe
Up along my calves
Grazing my thighs
Curving my ass
Dancing on my crooked spine
Kissing my neck
And right through my head.
Not to mention what happens inside
The weightlessness
Floating
Falling
Stomach turning over itself and
Pressing down
Down
Down.

Every dive different
With the same goal
Reaching the bottom
And floating back up
To the surface
The light
The sun
Warm,
New
Alive.


And now that I have thrown myself in, consequences and all, I feel he is swimming towards the edge, looking for a way out.