Mamita Mala - One Bad Mami

La Mala Has Left Blogger

2006-05-24T09:02:00.000-04:00

Visit my new home at mamitamala.com

Really You Should be here anymore

2006-05-23T08:32:00.000-04:00

I'm Moving

2006-05-22T11:59:00.000-04:00

Well this blog is anyway. I'm moving off of blogger and slowly settling into mamitamala.com thanks to Vegankid. That site is under serious construction including updating links and the look of the site, so excuse the mess over there. It takes a little time to settle into a home of your own. I'm learning that blogger has spoiled me and that I know shit about designing a blog.

Late Night Movies - The King Shouldn't Be Alive

2006-05-21T09:46:00.000-04:00

If I could choose the next fantasy father of my next fantasy baby it would be Gael Garcia Bernal. He's talented, cute, and has good politics. Usually the movies he plays in are well done and thought provoking. I said Usually. Last night I caught a late showing of The King and walked out feeling less than satisfied, kind of like when you build up sleeping with someone and it's just eh.
The plot was interesting and the plot twists sick, which all good by me. But halfway through the movie, it just started to feel like a drag, like everything was being melodramatically drawn out and accompanied by even more melodramatic music.

My pololo and I had been talking about going to a movie since we started dating months ago and sadly this was the first movie we shared.

Un Cambio Por Favor

2006-05-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Many many changes are about to happen. In my life and on this blog. Mi pololo will be leaving for Spain for three weeks, giving me three weeks of time to think and reflect and plan. I have to figure out which conferences I will make this summer and which ones I will sit out. I have to factor in la Mapu and make sure she is taken care of if she doesn't come with. I have to earn money and save money. Sadly, life isn't free.

Soon this blog will be moving off of blogger and on its own space (gracias to Vegankid) which I am very excited about out.

Summer is my favorite season. It's hot and sweaty and sensual and sexy and always seems to be a big time of change in my life. This summer promises to be no different.

Punctuation

2006-05-17T19:03:00.000-04:00

I refuse to balance on a hyphen
Slip between ellipses of omission
of waiting
for my adjective
my modifier.

I like to use the dash when I write, especially when I write in my daily journal. It indicates continuity, connections and yes poor grammar skills.

Today I received my official acceptance letter from Voices of Our Nations Art Foundation (VONA).
. I have the opportunity to spend a few weeks in San Fran working on my writing. I am honored and excited to work with other writers of color and share community. But I have no idea how I will do it. The program will cost me, not including airfare about $800. This comes at a time when I am planning a move into a new apartment I will share with my daughter and pololo, healthcare bills are on the horizon, and of course basic survival needs. But my writing is a survival need as well. But who will watch my 8 year old daughter while I indulge myself in words and the sound they make on my mouth and the space they take up once they leave my mouth?

Well there is a little, humble donation button on the sidebar (god I beg alot no?)
But this is something I have waited too long to do, take a step for myself and how that self expresses herself.

Still doesn't take care of childcare but they don't make a button for that.

Fear of Water

2006-05-16T18:40:00.000-04:00

I have bathed every inch of this skin
And what is covered beneath it
In your waters.
Slowly
Methodically
Cautiously.

It is not that I am unfamiliar with the ritual of submerging.
Toes gripping the edge
Closing my eyes
Deep breath in
Hold
Bend knees
Push off
And jump.

I havenÂt forgotten the baptismal birth water font
Or the 9 months of water world safety thatprecededd my salvation .
Nor have I forgotten that
Rush
Air bubbles
From tip toe
Up along my calves
Grazing my thighs
Curving my ass
Dancing on my crooked spine
Kissing my neck
And right through my head.
Not to mention what happens inside
The weightlessness
Floating
Falling
Stomach turning over itself and
Pressing down
Down
Down.

Every dive different
With the same goal
Reaching the bottom
And floating back up
To the surface
The light
The sun
Warm,
New
Alive.

And now that I have thrown myself in, consequences and all, I feel he is swimming towards the edge, looking for a way out.

And meanwhile on the Spanish language networks

2006-05-15T20:25:00.000-04:00

While the blanquitos are debating the prez's speech, Univision and Telemundo wuickly went back to broadcasting their novelas, porque heaven forbid that abuela misses lo que paso.

Shrub Talks Immigration

2006-05-15T20:19:00.000-04:00

Does anyone see the contradictions in Bush's speech? He talks about bolstering border security yet admits that so far that has not been a deterrent. What's so different now?

I wonder if Bush really expects Congress to crack down on businesses hiring non-documented workers. Lip service anyone? The issue of an id for immigrants also does not address the huge underground economy in which many non-documented immigrants work within.

Bush is making it very clear that he is anti-amnesty.

What bullshit! Melting pot and assimilation. It sounds like he is going to make an English only law. He is playing up the old pulling up oneself from your bootstraps cliche which of course ignores that even for citizens , there are huge disparities of access to opportunities based on color, ethnicity, class and gender.

Ay- how predictable. Bush is going to make an example of a Latino immigrant in the armed forces. The honorable immigrant stereotype. People of color who risk theory lives for freedom not because there are no other options. Not because there are recruiters at schools in inner city neighborhoods picking and choosing children of color to serve as canon fodder.

Basically- I just wasted 17 minutes of my life listening to bullshit.

A few wasted minutes of our time listening to the President

2006-05-15T20:09:00.000-04:00

Right away he labels people as "illegal immigrants" which is obviously problematic. People - immigrants are not illegal. According to the President, "Illegal Immigration brings crime to communities". Nice. Here is the plan according to the Pres.

Securing the borders (except from commerce = money). If so much progress is being made at the border why are so many people being apprehended? Obviously what the politicians are talking here isn't in sync with the needs of both those crossing the border and with the employers who hire them.

6,000 National Guard troops will be sent to the border (the Mexican border because no one cares about those coming through the Canadian border - no hint of racism here. Move it along folks).

Whoa - The pres is asking for $$ to get local and state law enforcement involved in helping border patrol - which if you ask me is a dangerous precedent. It allows for racial profiling.

Bush is Live

2006-05-15T20:01:00.000-04:00

Uh oh...something went wrong with the feed. CNN say they accidently showed the president "rehearsing". Who knew it took so much practice too look so stupid.

Patrolling the Border Patrol National Guard BS

2006-05-15T19:29:00.000-04:00

As an experiment and as a reaction to a conservative blogger, I decided I'm going to live blog the bobo in chief's speech, which airs live in less than an hour.

Wet, Wet, Wet (Birthday's Done - Back to Reality)

2006-05-15T14:54:00.000-04:00

Gracias for all the birthday wishes. 29 is turning out to feel alot like 19 in more ways than one.

This is not a post about all the wonderful sex I had this past weekend (although it could be). It is not a post about how much it rained in Boston where I spent my birthday weekend.

I was able to read a whole book this weekend, eat good food, sleep, shower in private, write, and all the other little things you take for granted and forget that you are capable of as a mami. I have my chilenito to thank for that because he managed to snatch me away in a little bed & breakfast. Not that the weekend was without drama though. I will let people speculate and mummur but I am always still somewhat surprised at how quickly males use their privilage card, even so called liberal, free-thinking, free-spririted men. Yes and I'm a little disapointed. Not that I should be but I suppose their is always that tiny expectation /hope that somehow this one person is different.
I don't care any less. I am just aware of how incredibly human people can be when faced with certain situations and by human I mean, self-interested. No judgements about it, just acknowledgement.

It's my Birthday

2006-05-12T10:23:00.000-04:00

And I will be away enjoying it. For all the mamis- have a wonderful mother's day. See you all on Monday

Because I Ain't too Proud to Beg

2006-05-11T20:50:00.000-04:00

In case you don't know me personally and know the shamelessness that is Mala you may not know that this coming Friday is my birthday. I will be entering my last year as a twenty-something. Now what does a not quite thirty year old single NYRican writer woman want for her birthday? Well to make it easier on you all and so that I have a point of reference. Because I am practical most of the things on the extensive list below are things I actually need. I am fully aware that I will not likely get any of the things below unless I get em for my damn self- and that's fine. Just indulge me a bit ok?

photo printer ink
A subscription to this magazine
Upgrade me here
Take me to see n adult movie (and no I don't mean porn I mean something that doesn't involve animation or talking animals or fucking kids saving the day.
Books- tell me your favorites!
Free babysitting- so I can write- read- fuck- or just so I can pee without interuption
Send me to a concert - I haven't been to one in years.
A haircut
A manicure/pedicure (sandalia season is upon us)
There are many good restaurants in NY- take me to one
I like opera- there I said it- I'm not ashamed. If you like me you will take me to the opera
A new digital camera - I have one and it works but it's a few years old and new one would be nice. who doesn't like new things?
Sex toys - Yes my current partner is working fine thank you very much but sometimes I need a lunchtime orgasm

Coqui At My Door

2006-05-10T14:15:00.000-04:00

At approximately 5:30 yesterday afternoon there was a knock at my door. I went to answer it as it was an afternoon full of client meetings. I looked through the peephole. Nadie. I opened the door. No one. Then I noticed in front of my door a little figurine of a coqui, that tiny Rican tree frog that sang me to sleep during my many childhood stays back in la patria. I didn't dare touch it. What if someone had done some brujeria on it? Was a it a joke from my German neighbor downstairs, the one who wears a big cowboy hat and always seems to have knick knacks to give away? Was it from that young guy from Wisconsin who lives across the hall with me? I'm convinced he has a crush on my sister. Maybe it was a goodbye gift from my neighbors who just moved to the other side of the building. Maybe it was an insult, a slur in the physical form of a pava wearing coqui. It could be making fun of the current fiscal crisis Puerto Rico finds itself in. When my sister came home two hours later. She didn't bring the coqui into the house either, suspecting brujeria also (we are a superstitious/suspicious lot). We wracked our brains wondering who it could be from and what it could mean. Last night the coqui was allowed into the house by my mother who said my sister and I were being ridiculous. My sister and I scolded her and began planning for the limpieza we would now have to do because my mother brought the coqui into the apartment. I mentioned the coqui to a number of parents at a parent association budget meeting this morning. They all (all white) shook their head, indicating the incident as a bad sign. Ok so we are the only Rican family in the building but we've been the only Rican family in the building for what, 15 years now?

The coqui, with his hat, is sitting on my piano in the entrance hallway of the apartment, keeping silent on whatever his reason for being left on my doorstep.

The Spring 2006 Crisis : Bugs

2006-05-09T00:26:00.000-04:00

La MapucheRican sees herself as unlucky in cycles. Last summer it was the Home Depot sink display falling on her. We rang in the new year with the fork incident
My recent absence was do to another mapucherican related incident. Now to many a mami, especially a latina mami one of the worse insults you could throw at her is calling her sucia or descuidada. That we don't keep our children neatly dressed and clean. I fail shamelessly at the neatly dressed part. I could fucking care less about ironing and send la mapu out all wrinkled and disheveled. But she's clean carajo. So imagine my disgust and surprise at finding bugs- piojos- lice. My intellectual side knows very well that the nasty but harmless bugs actually prefer clean hair but still I felt like a horrible mother. How could this happen to my kid and worse yet how could this happen to yes me (one of the untold benefits of co-sleeping).

La mapu was fairly easy to deal with. Toxic chemicals, vinegar, tea tree oil, olive oil (not all together) and combing sessions that lasted hours took care of her. Washing and disinfecting everything in site took care of the household and prevented the plague from spreading to other members of our extended household. But there was no one to help me. For all the fucking nit picking I did. All the head checks I did on my mother and sister not one fucking person offered to help me, leaving me up one night, de lousing myself, sitting on the bathroom floor, crying.

Ok ok el chileno aka my pololo did offer to help but he wasn't a very effective nit-picker and ended up instead watching me have a low grade breakdown about the whole thing.

The good news is that we are piojo free now. The bad news is that both la Mapu and I are waiting to see what the next crisis will be.

Mami, Do I Tell the School I was Sick?

2006-05-03T15:39:00.000-04:00

La MapucheRican asked me this as I scrambled an egg for her breakfast. I had made the decision not to send her to school to honor Monday's strike/boycott. Keeping her homes from school however didn't mean she spent the day watching cartoons or playing video games. It wasn't a day off or a day to be lazy, as some people accuse. While I wasn't able to not work ( I work from home and am self-employed- who was I gonna boycott- my own damn self?). I didn't spend a damn penny and was able to go with my daughter to a smaller that the Union Square rally, event in our home borough of Queens.

Today I'll find out what my daughter missed in school yesterday but throughout the weekend, I stepped up and taught my own daughter. The meaning of the words boycott and strike were explained as well as a review of the origins of May Day as a labor holiday (she did a biography project on Lucy Parsons for Women's History Month in her school- and yes her school thinks I'm crazy). We discussed immigration. Once at the event I translated the chants from Spanish to English (because like most second generation born latinos, she struggles with her Spanish, despite my best efforts). La MapucheRican was in awe of the number of people and with the 10 blocks filled with people and flags. We ran into people we knew, including her first "boyfriend" the little 6 year old nephew of one of her sitters, and his parents. This made the issue more personal for her.

Soon enough though, she is still a child after all, we left because she was hungry and I had to work.

Back at school yesterday, no one asked her why she didn't go to school. No one apparently really cared.

A Day Without Immigrants

2006-05-01T14:51:00.000-04:00

More pictures from a human chain of solidarity and action in Jackson Heights, Queens, NYC earlier today can be seen on my Flickr page.

A Big Song and Dance About Song Nuesto Himno

2006-04-28T15:54:00.000-04:00

Wow I have never seen people get so worked up over a song. Just read all the racist blindly nationalistic comments on the issue over at the blog I write on.

Poem on Your Blog Weekend

2006-04-28T12:26:00.000-04:00

I just read about this Poem on your Blog Weekend over at fellow NYC blogger Ron's blog and it seems only fit to post well a poem and step up and put my poems where my earlier blog post is and to pledge along with Ktrion to post new writing fearlessly.

Untitled

Before I knew any better,
I knew you.
We namelessly shared Avenue C fluorescent lit hipster deli aisles
selling overpriced bottled american dreams of youth and health
neither one of us was buying.
The smell of your weed and whiskey had already
made love to the smell of my red wine and sex
without the slightest contact between our physical bodies.
Our sensual fingerprints had been sharing the same room for months
as witnessed by communal poems drunkenly scribbled on the walls.

I heard you,
familiarly accented sound waves,
between inhales of cigarette smoke and long swigs of beer.
I didn't need to see you
before feeling
sing-songy accented vibrations
that impregnated me years before
and penetrated more than my wandering womb.
Yes,
I tasted that tongue
before it was slipped inside my mouth
when we finally went underground,
together.

Ranking oppression

2006-04-28T09:25:00.000-04:00

People really need to head over to Blackademic and read Nubian's post on the ranking of oppression in the feminist movement, its role in the Duke Rape case, and some of the disgusting but not surprising comments from people who still don't/won't step back to get it.

Writing My Voice

2006-04-28T09:02:00.000-04:00

Soy egoista. Well at least I like to play off like I am. Like when I get up on stage at a tertulia and spit broken spic Spanish poems with fucked up grammar and then smile graciously as people tell me how honest my work is, how real, how it has personality, and is pure and unrestrained by rules like I planned it that way. Scary thing is that I don't feel that fucking brilliant. I don't feel that fucking deep or talented. I feel lazy and stupid and like I said last night in a poem I am working on:

I live in the only sovereign state that I know, the state of insecurity

Despite all the kindness and ego stroking accolades I feel like my writing, the process and its results , is immature and insecure. Despite the years of being considered a poet, a writer, a blogger - I have hidden myself from criticism and critique.

Does it come from the fact that the first time I took stage to perform something outloud, at age 16 my mother said that a ghetto spic Puerto Rican accent came out and I was made to feel ashamed of that. Or maybe its the insecurity of language, the broken Spanish poems, the spanglish the English that doesn't allow to me fit into the niche of being a Spanish writer or an English writer. I once dated a Latino writer who was critical of the way I used language, saying it cheapened me and my work. His male privilege, his educational privilege with his MFA trumped my female uneducated voice. At least that's how it felt. There is no capital, no money, no time for me to run off to writing workshops and school. How about the rejection letters, the not playing by the rules and not spitting out the Spic Chic Lit I see in the chain bookstores.

I treat my writing like a privilege. It comes after editing the work of others and helping children learn proper grammar while developing their own style and voice. It comes after making sure my child's homework is done and making sure she is fed, clothes, and educated. It comes after everything. Scraps of stories and poems languish , missing deadlines and submission dates. There is no room of my own. My writing is interrupted constantly by requests and vacuuming and cries for food and attention and I feel guilty saying no, I am working on something that is mine. Thus I devalue my own work, my own voice.

My writing, the process and its results, is layered like my life. Complex.

After my performance the other night one man asked why I hated men. Another man who missed my performance asked if I did my angry poetry. Another man complimented the rawness of my work but added that he was happy to hear me writing about love. Because apparently writing about abortions and rape and colonialism, and identity , and sex is unbecoming. Writing about a relationship, especially a heterosexual relationship, that's an acceptable, more palatable theme.

Only one women, a mujer, said something to me about understanding the voice and style that I choose, that I am in my writing.

Mil gracias to Pomegranate Queen for making me think more about this and for opening the online discussion on the theme. A thousand and one thanks for her stepping up and creating a new space where women and trans writers of color can share, critique and give our writing, the process and results, the value it deserves.

Another Miercoles, Another Tertulia

2006-04-27T09:49:00.000-04:00

Mil gracias to all of you who gave me so much love at last night's tertulia. It was wonderful to see each and every one of you, especially the people I hadn't seen in a minute. I monopolized the stage for a bit but no one really seemed to mind and it felt good to be in front of a crowd after about a month of not performing. Last night there were Gypsy Junkies, bellydancers, jokes, stories, and of course poets. There are pictures, unfortunately none are of me because someone (I'm not naming names)forgot to.
Better yet just come to the next tertulia so you can see it all in person.

NYC - Fusion Atomica Tertulia Featuring la Mala

2006-04-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

Obviously that's not me, it's my friend and fellow poeta Diego Vargas at the last Fusion Atomica tertulia. This Wednesday (tommorow), April 26th, Fusion Atomica presents its Tertulia featuring Latino/Spanish language spoken word, writing, and music. This week's featured poeta is yours truely, la Mala, with my usual mix of Nuyorican politics and angry single mami putita rants. Hell I may even do a love poem. The event is free and the spot, D'Antigua offers plenty of options for food and drink. I will be performing in English and Spanish.

Wednesday, April 26
Tertulia Fusion Atomica @ D'Antigua Lounge/Restaurant
84-16 Northern Blvd Jackson Heights, NY
9 pm until .....
#7 train to 82nd Street

For more info visit - http://www.fusionatomica.com/home.php?id=5
or email me at mamitamala@yahoo.com

You're So Articulate (for a spic)

2006-04-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

I thank the cosmos daily that I am no longer in the corporate world so that I don't have to hear the "You're so articulate" line only to then be called into the Managing Director's office so I can give his Latina housekeeper instructions in Spanish since I was the only Spanish speaking (and Latina) person on the floor. But now that I work at home , that doesn't mean I've escaped people's surprise that as a single Rican mami I can put words together to create sentences that say something. At la MapucheRican's school, I attended a workshop and the Vice-Principal said "You're so articulate" and expected me to be grateful for her compliment.

Weblogger Meetup Pics

2006-04-18T13:39:00.000-04:00

Ok before Mr. Latino Pundit kills me (not actually of course) I am posting the pics from last week's meetup. They can be found on my Flickr. Sorry for the delay but working at home and having your kid off from school do not work together.

Hola New York Webloggers

2006-04-14T09:38:00.000-04:00

It was great to meet all of you last night at the Weblogger Meetup. I will be posting the pics la MapucheRican took later today as well as creating links to all here on the blog. Until then a shout out to : Ronn Taylor, Mr. Latino Pundit, NYC Curmudgeon (who was absolutely amazing with la Mapu), David from the Captain Humphreys Project, Ms. Urban Latin Female, y la mujer sin blog but who loves blogs.

Think the Current Immigration Debate is Just About Race

2006-04-09T10:03:00.000-04:00

Nubian reminds us that its also about queer rights.

NYC Public Schools : Not English Only

2006-04-07T16:30:00.000-04:00

Well not if I can help it anyway. Many peeps read up on recent going ons in my daughter's elementary school. I have been working for years...and I mean years at finding various ways to ensure equal access to information and services for all parents within the school regardless of the home language. The school administration really has to be pushed though to do things like provide translation at meetings and have documents going home with students translated. Some of it is a lack of commitment on the part of the school and some of it is an absence of parents stepping up ( I mean I can't be the only bi-lingual Latina parent willing to confront the admin on this...or am I?).

I presented the President of the Parent's Association with a number of issues I wanted addressed including translation services, some sort of training for teachers on diversity ( I know...feh... but do you know how hard it is to get a teacher fired?), resource lists for parents and families and my grand proposal for the year, satellite meetings. This means additional Parent Association meetings offered in three additional languages (Spanish, Chinese, and Russian) to encourage parental involvement, improve equal access to information and services, ensure that non-English dominant parents have an equal say in policies but also to provide safe space. Surprisingly enough the idea to have the satellite meetings was approved, no problem. Later in a planning meeting I was given a warning to design and word the flyer for the inaugural Spanish language meeting in a non-offensive way. The concern wasn't about offending the non-English parents but rather the English speaking parents- you know- diosa forbid they have to confront their own language privilege, which really in this school goes along with race privilege because when I have translated at meetings its the white people rolling their eyes and sighing, thinking I'm not really translating but sending secret coded messages to all the Spanish speakers to take shit over. Because you know that's what "we" do when "we" get together.

Now if only I could get some parents to pull their kids out with me on Monday so we can go to the rally at City Hall on Monday.

On a somewhat unrelated post, the Parent Association President informed me at a meeting we had that he had read my blog, this blog and said it gave him alot of perspective as to where I was coming from. I sometimes forget how public this space can be, and most of the time I'm ok with being public...my familia, my lovers, boyfriends...not so much (my current partner has asked me not to write about him here for example). I have to admit though I became a little flustered at the thought of the PA President reading my sexual exploits, abortion stories, and stripper stories, but hey the personal is the political no?

Ask and Ye Shall Have

2006-04-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

The teal dress. I look insanely tired in this pic, not to mention not a chicho in sight. There is some nice cleavage though. I will wbe wearing the dress tommorow night and will take some pics to show the chicholiciousness. Ha ha

The Chichos are Coming

2006-04-06T10:49:00.000-04:00

An ex-boyfriend of mine once named me "la reina de los chichos" and even got his then 6 or 7 year old son to call me that too. That ex-boyfriend, who said he loved me, had somewhat of a Jesus complex, thinking that just because I stopped stripping while I was dating him he had saved me. That ex-boyfriend 12 years my elder had the bad habit of pinching fat from my ample hips and speaking to my chichos as if they were separate from me. It wasn't : "Mala, are you hungry?" it was "Do the chichos want to be fed?". Hips and fat that carried babies and sat in jail cells were mutilated and animalized. I was not the sum of my internal and external "parts". I was just pedazos...de carne...de grasa.

A few weeks ago I slipped into a teal jersey knit dress that showed enough to be sexy but was still classy. I was going on a date to a nice restaurant for cocktails. My mother gave me the once over before saying, "Don't take this the wrong way...." followed by a long pause.
Usually when my mother says not to take something the wrong way it means she is about to utter something that can only be taken the wrong way. Maybe she was going to insult my latest choice in romantic partners. Maybe she was going to criticize me as a mother for daring to go on a date on a school night.
"You're not fat, but you should get a girdle, faja to keep your chichos in place."
la faja magica, the amazing pantyfaja and what seems like endless products like them flash across the screen in between novelas and cover the back pages of Spanish language magazines. They promise to hold my chichos in place. Hide my chichos. Where exactly do chichos belong? Where exactly should I hide them? Is it ever appropriate to show off my chichos, to say, "Yes this roll on my left side came from the slamming pernil abuelita made and this one over here I've had since I had my child."

My mother was right. I am not fat. I have the privilege of not being looked down upon or having a million stereotypes thought about me, my eating habits, my hygiene and my health as so many people who identify as fat do (and plenty of people who don't identify as fat too). But I still have chichos and I'll be damned if I'm going to hide them or squash them into submission.

Love me. Love my chichos.

Guagua means Baby and Polola Means Girlfriend

2006-03-29T18:56:00.000-05:00

I love a Chilean accent and how words in Chilean Spanish have absolutely nothing to do with words in Puerto Rican Spanish. When I arrived in Chile oh so many years ago and asked where I could catch la guagua, I got some strange looks. Fresas became frutillas, tipas became minas, guineos became platanos, tea became mate, "pos" were attached to words and phrases and every sentence seemed to have a "cachai" thrown in there. It was an accent that eventually stuck to me and at times still mixes in with my Nuyorican Spanish just enough to confuse people and leave them wondering where I am from.

In Chile there were different labels to describe relationships. If you were just messing with a mino/a aka fucking around you were tirando. Casually dating = andando. Novios meant there was an engagement ring and a wedding date.

Last night (well really early this morning) on the corner of 42 and 9th the Chilean I'm dating asked (after a pretty intense night of conversation) if I would be his polola. It sounds like the silliest word in the world if you don't know what it means. Pololeando sounds even sillier. But last night it made sense to me. Cachai?

So You Want to Date A Single Mami

2006-03-27T21:41:00.000-05:00

Congratulations! You are the proud new co-owner of a relationship with a single mami.
Dating is complicated enough with its unspoken (and certainly unwritten) rules and subcontexts. Well it's about to get more complicated. But don't let this fact scare you. Single mamis, especially artsy politically outspoken sex positive mamis, are wonderful people to be in relationships with. They are smart and responsible and truly enjoy spending their time with you. They don't demand too much. They are often just happy engaging in intelligent adult conversation although they love a good night out that can include but certainly isn't limited to poetry readings, dancing, drinking, dinner and of course sex. There are however a few basics that you need to become acquainted with in order to make your relationship with a single mami the best it relationship it can be.

1. A single mami's time is limited. She's not just dividing her time between you and mami'hood. Mamihood is hard work on its own. Single motherhood involves the mami working to support herself and her child (or children). Balancing all these factors can be hard. Understanding that means that the single mami cannot always be available when you want her to be. Even when the regular workday is done for you, she's at home making sure homework is done, food is eaten, baths are taken and bedtime is observed. Don't take it personally. It's not about you. In fact you need to accept that you will not be the number one priority. Her child is. It's not that she doesn't want to spend time with you . It's that sometimes she can't. Throwing in her face that she's never available before a certain time or asking how her past partners dealt with this are not recommended. They will make the single mother wonder if she should give you any time at all and generally make her feel shitty. If you want to be in a relationship with a single mami, be understanding and sympathetic. Not complainy and whiney. The single mother wants a relationship with an adult, not another child to appease.

2. If you make plans with the single mami. Stick to them . Don't be late or cancel at the last minute if you can help it. This goes along with #1. Since the single mami's time is limited, if she has set time aside to be with you, that means she has secured babysitting. If you do have to change plans or cancel , do so as soon as you can. Single mamis hate being left waiting with all their makeup on with the sitter and child.

3. Children get sick. This means that sometimes the single mami may have to cancel plans at the last minute or may be late because she's cleaning up vomit from her kids with the sudden stomach bug. No it's not fair pero it is what it is.

4. Don't assume. Don't assume that because the single mother lives with her family that that means that she has on-call babysitting services. Don't assume that if you invite your single mami to a weekend getaway or a month long jaunt in Spain that her family will take care of her child for that time. Maybe her family isn't supportive of her dating. Maybe everyone in the household works. This goes for your friends too. Educate them as to the realities of single mamihood so that they don't make her feel shitty at dinner parties when they shake their heads in disbelief that she didn't accept your offer to run off traveling with you.

5. It's a Family Affair. Love the single mami. Love her child. This means that you will not have exclusive rights. Expect that watching a video at home with your single mami may mean watching a cheesy kid flick and not the latest art house flick on DVD. Expect that day outings may have to include child friendly activities. Don't suck your teeth or complain that you never get to see just her during the day.

6. Single mamihood doesn't always mean there is a weekend visit from papi. Some single mamis don't have their baby daddy in the picture. Some daddies don't come and take the children away on weekends and alternate holidays. Sometimes it's just the single mami.

7. Don't complain about the lack of sleepovers. Trust me. The single mami would love to wake up with you after a night of making love or wild fucking. She would love that post sex morning after breakfast followed by more sex but she usually has to be home before the sun rises to make breakfast and send her child off to school.

If you remember these simple things then you are well on your way to developing a beautiful something with your single mami. If you can't (or don't want to) you may be missing out on something and someone wonderful.

Cosita Seria And Her Bob

2006-03-26T15:46:00.000-05:00

It's been a heavy weekend in terms of issues around here. La Mapu and I have been talking about transgender issues and political action. Last week it was all about pussies, vaginas, coocoos, chochas, cositas, and bob. Last year La Mapu, after hearing Pussy Manifesto, decided she wanted to call her vagina her pussy. Not a problem for me but I did have to explain how other people might react and why. She was uncomfortable with the word coocoo (the word my mother used with my sister and I). She said that sounded babyish and La Mapu is no baby. Vagina sounded too technical for her. Lately she's been experimenting with Bob. Yes my daughter has named her vagina Bob.

I tried my best to explain the issues of gender and transgenderism. We know some peeps in the trans community pero I don't think she really understood what the deal was , until she started asking questions this weekend. I think she's been seeing more trans images in the media and that has raised questions for her, She's been asking about the labels girl, boy, male and female. It shows she's thinking which is a good thing.

Then spurred by watching the movie Walkout (which was ok...I have some issues with it but I can find issue with everything!!!) She was asking about different ways people protest , especially in the Latino community. She was already thinking about these things , especially after she decided to do a Women's History Month project on Lucy Parsons. I suggested a group of radical women of color- I mean she's gonna learn about great white women all her damn life. She decided Lucy seemed the most interesting to her. At 8 she's not thinking in terms of labels like anarchism, socialism etc. But she's thinking about the ways people work to change things. My mother says I'm engaging in brainwashing. I say no more than her public school is also.

For example , two weeks ago, la Mapu asked about animal rights including animal testing and hunting. She decided she was going to go vegan. I supported her by taking her to the grocery store to purchase food that had no animal products. Her being a vegan lasted all of two days before she asked me for some pernil but the point is letting her find her own path and supporting it, so long as its not too dangerous or completely fucked up like going to a young republicans meeting or something. Ha!

Parent-Teacher Conferences : Does Not Translate

2006-03-22T11:50:00.000-05:00

Students, with serious expressions clutched their small manila envelopes and followed their parents silently through the halls of the local public school. It was that time of year again, report card time and time for the parent-teacher conferences.

On a personal level, my meeting with the teacher went well. I like la MapucheRican's teacher. She's honest, open-minded and gets where I'm coming from, even when I'm complaining about how poorly the 37 1/2 minute extra period is being run or how conservative and useless the new HIV/AIDS curriculum will be. La Mapu is doing well. She is slowly learning to enjoy writing and her mouth in class is catching up with he speed her mouth has here at home.

Every time parent-teacher conferences kick into gear , I am kicked into service. The NYC Department of (mis)Education woefully neglects its non-English dominant parents. Besides translating notices of meetings into Spanish, throwing to side all sense of confidentiality, I translate for Spanish dominant families at the meetings. This means that before and way after meeting with my child's own teacher , I run around the school to where I am most needed.

I was called to a kindergarten class last night to translate between a parent and an old-school teacher.
"Your son should be reading at B level and he's reading at A level. You don't speak English so obviously no one can sit down and read the books I send home every Monday. If no one can help him read in English then I don't know why I should bother sending the books home with your son who is going to have to repeat kindergarten anyway". The teacher began and then looked at me to translate.

The mother explained she was trying. That she enlisted the help of her sister who spoke better English. The teacher responded by reading word by word to the mother a kindergarten level book as an example.
"Oh and your son doesn't know how to clean himself when he goes to the bathroom"

The mother's eyes filled with tears. A younger child sitting happily on his mother's lap grabbed a pen from the table. The pen was promptly grabbed back from the child by the teacher who sternly said, "Don't do that".
"Maybe you should take English classes. You can take class at a college or something." No specifics were given as to where these programs were or just as importantly , how much they cost. The family and I were quickly led out so another family could come in and I was left apologizing to the mother because I too had no resources to offer her.

This morning I inquired if teachers went through any sort of professional development or training specifically dealing with how to work with non-English speaking parents. Not surprisingly I was told they did not.

So much lip service is played to the diversity of the NYC public school system but no one is talking about how poorly non-English speaking parents are dealt with. No one talks about the way economic, race (because most of these are parents of color), and national privilege play out in the hallowed halls of education.

Yes this is an angry mami post...and my mind is spinning with how to turn it into action.

La Mala in Latina

2006-03-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

I'm not one to plug magazines, pero in April's Latina Magazine on page 32 there is a little blurb about this little blog. Mamita Mala is Latina's blogger of the month. Alas they didn't use a picture of me but I share the page with Eva Longoria, Juanes, Thalia and Michelle Bachelet.

Bienvenidos to all who stumbled here via Latina (the one with Salma Hayek on the cover).

HIV/AIDS Education for La Mapu

2006-03-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

I originally heard the story on the news this morning as I checked the temperature before I dropped la Mapu off at school. When she came home this afternoon , one of the first things I asked her (after checking out her report card- she still is struggling at writing- haters insert your comment here)was "Did they talk to you about HIV or AIDS today?"

I've been bad about this. We know people who are HIV positive but it's never something I've discussed with la Mapu. I've discussed other illnesses. When Titi L. died of cancer, I explained cancer. What was I waiting for? For someone we know to die before I explained HIV and AIDS? Nice little privilage trip I had going for while.

"No they didn't talk to us about HIV or AIDS in school today." la Mapu explained.
"Well what do you know about HIV or AIDS?" I asked.
"It's a sickness" she answered.
"Do you know how people get sick with the HIV virus?" I asked.
"Not going outside?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders.
Clearly I have failed as a parent.

I began reading the information sent home regarding the new expanded HIV/AIDS Education program. As a third grader my daughter will be taught to wash her hands and cover her mouth when she sneezes. Sex won't be dealth with until she's in fourth grade with an emphasis on abstinence. I have heard from parents in the local public school that in sex ed the word sex can't even be used so this new education programs should be fun ::rolling eyes::

Tommorow there will be a meeting for the parents about the new program. I am thinking of bringing condoms to hand out.

P.S. : This morning as I walked la MapucheRican to school she turned to me and said:

"Mom, you forget everything. We talked about HIV and AIDS and other diseases you can get from sex and drugs. But I don't want to get into it now. "

Ok so maybe I'm not failing that horribly.

Not for Love: Just for Breakdowns (of Communication) and Other Poor Excuses

2006-03-17T17:53:00.000-05:00

I was asked if my absence from the blogging world, my inability to keep true and come through with the Radical Women of Color Carnival and numerous other responsibilities that have fallen to wayside, was because I was in love. Ha! Hardly. Just a preponderance of work and depression could keep me from here, locked away in dark corners doing just the bare minimum so that la MapucheRican can eat and get sent off to school everyday.

I wish I had an excuse like love, but all I have is this life as an excuse and with that an apology to all the amazing mujeres who I let down by not coming through with my end of the Radical WOC Carnival. I bit off more of life than I could chew and didn't know how to deal. I will accept my public flogging now and attempt to read through the 300 some odd emails in my inbox.

Last Chance to Submit !!

2006-02-28T18:36:00.000-05:00

ANNOUNCING: WOMEN OF COLOR BLOG CARNIVAL
~~~a call out for submissions~~~

Because Women of Color recognize that real world structural inequalities such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect, have restricted our access to the resources the internet has to offer our communities,

Because Women of Color recognize that computer literacy is a right that has long been denied to our communities,

Because the internet has been used as a tool to further racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations of Women of Color,

Because Women of Color recognize that these racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations have very real world consequences for our communities and us,

Because Women of Color demand that the resources the internet has to offer be available to our communities,

Because Women of Color demand that computer literacy be restructured as to include those of us who must learn the computer in restricted settings (libraries, prisons, institutions, etc)

Because Women of Color demand a powerful, healthy, intelligent and WHOLE representation of themselves on the internet, the Radical Woman of Color Blog Carnival has been created!!

**Centering the voices, opinions, issues, interests, demands, problems, and solutions of women of color, this blog carnival will be used to connect the real world issues such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect to the blogosphere.

**Publication date will be the first (1rst) of every month.

Topic 2 Mami Bloggers

Mothers have used the internet as a way to build community, seek information and share information.

There has been much debate and discussion about Mommy Bloggers and childfree bloggers. Are they allies or adversaries? Is motherhood , especially stay at home motherhood helping or hurting the feminist cause. , but most of these discussions have centered around white, privileged bloggers. What about mamis of color? Do they dominate the mujer side of the blogosphere to the detriment of radical women who do not have children and who may not want children? How do we represent mamihood as part of our internet identities? How do we make the connections between mami struggles and all struggles within our communities? Is there a need to mami of color only spaces or are those too exclusive, shutting out mujeres in the wider radical community? Does the net and blogosphere give mamis , mami's to be, and women who never will be mamis more space to explore issues around making, birthing, raising, and educating children of color?

Pues claro these are just suggestions and ideas. Got any other thoughts on livin in the mamihood? Essays, poetry, art and other forms of self-expression are more than welcome just get em to me by February 28th.

Email submissions to me,la Mala at mamitamala@yahoo.com

What are you doing Wednesday?

2006-02-28T16:44:00.000-05:00

Detailles

2006-02-28T08:01:00.000-05:00

I could into the details of dancing in bars, running in light snow, swallowing words but not quite digesting them just in case they start to spoil and reveal themselves as candy coated poison. I could revel in hearing words I haven't heard associated with my name in a long time suddenly become mine again: positions, rankings, labels. Accents, the kind that impregnanted me so many years ago, seduce me again. How deep down inside I don't mind the cold my body is fighting against because of how I contracted it.

Just flow malita.....just flow.

East Harlem Tutorial Program

2006-02-27T09:34:00.000-05:00

Attention all high school students, college/grad students,
professionals and
anyone interested in tutoring youth.

EHTP is looking for volunteers!!

We work with students ages 5-17 and need volunteer tutors for the 500+
students in our program. If you would like to be a tutor or know
someone who
is interested you can call me at (212) 831-0650.

Volunteer tutors work with students ONCE A WEEK during the academic
school year.

Volunteer hours are
Monday - Thursday, 6:30 - 8pm
Saturday 10am - 12pm
Saturday 1-3pm

Also, if your organization is having a community event/fair, please
consider
EHTP for a tabling opportunity. We can also come to your workplace to
give a
10 - 15 minute presentation about volunteer tutoring at EHTP.

Feel free to forward this email to
Thank you for your help. My contact information is:

aurora anaya-cerda
Community Outreach Coordinator
aurora@ehtp.org

East Harlem Tutorial Program
2050 Second Avenue
New York, NY 10029
(212) 831-0650
(212) 289-7967
www.ehtp.org

Welcome to the Mami-hood

2006-02-26T20:56:00.000-05:00

My best girl, la Fea gave birth to bella Isabella on Sabado , February 25th, at 6:59 am. La nena, was 6 lbs 14 oz. and 19 inches long and she's sporting the only mohawk (very rockera). Mami and baby are doing well.

The Voices Come from Somewhere Deep

2006-02-25T10:57:00.000-05:00

Please join these fabulous mujeres.

How is it this possible

2006-02-25T09:46:00.000-05:00

How was I invited to attend an orgy and in London no less????

Mamis and Non Mamis Need to Represent

2006-02-24T11:21:00.000-05:00

Yo I am totally beginning to feel like a salesperson and let me tell you , when I was selling clothes, lap dances, and furniture I was a sucky ass salesperson sooooo.

The 2nd Radical Women of Color Carnival is just days away (March First)

The theme is mami-hood , and while I specifically mentioned mami's on the net, writings/images on mamihood or not being in the mamihood are welcome. Mamis and non mamis are invited to participate.

And in the words of brownfemipower

I wanted to make it absolutely clear that WE WILL NOT LINK YOU IN THE CARNIVAL WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

Thus, if you would like to have something included in the carnival, it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED if you could help us out by sending something in. Otherwise, we are going to be spending a lot of time surfing and asking--time that *could* be spent on our own blogs or creating a better Carnival for your pleasure.

Finally, while our topic this month is specifically Mamihood and the internet, we are accepting ANY posts that you might want to submit. Maybe you don't want to take the angle on your motherhood article that was suggested--maybe you are spittin to write something about identity (seems to be a hot topic lately!)--doesn't matter, just send it in!!!!

Ya heard????

I'm Hot

2006-02-23T11:15:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Ms. Fabulosa, who so graciously nominated me I am a REAL Hot 100 Nominee.

This Carnival Will Self Destruct in 7 Days

2006-02-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

Well not desdtruct but hopefully explode in a mix of words that some of you all will send moi. You have 7 days left to submit to the second edition of the Radical Women of Color Carnival. The theme is the Mami-hood! Do you wanna be in the mami-hood? Do you hate, resent the mamihood? Maybe you love the mami-hood and never wanna get out.

For more details click here or email me at mamitamalaatyahoodotcom.

Got Books?

2006-02-21T10:59:00.000-05:00

The New Orleans Public Library is asking for any and all hardcover and paperback books for people of all ages in an effort to restock the shelves after Katrina. The staff will assess which titles will be designated for its collections. The rest will be distributed to destitute families or sold for library fundraising. Please send your books to:

Rica A. Trigs, Public Relations
New Orleans Public Library
219 Loyola Avenue
New Orleans, LA 70112

Meanwhile Back in la Patria

2006-02-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

The Feds and the government they represent weren't happy enough with just murdering Filiberto last September. So they've begun to violate the rights of Rican citizens in the name of homeland security. Two weeks ago the FBI invaded the homes and businesses of alleged Macheteros.

Friday's FBI sweep was aimed at the Boricua National Army, a pro-independence organization that federal agents said had plans to use explosives against private businesses. Agents executed six search warrants on private houses and one business with the stated intention of thwarting a "domestic terrorist attack." When journalists went to cover one of the searches they clashed with FBI agents, who pepper sprayed some of them.

A Drunk Friend Once Told Me...

2006-02-20T00:22:00.000-05:00

The other night a drunk friend (might of slept with him once or a few times) slurred something in my ear about vengeful elephants and look it's true!!! Maybe you'll listen more carefully the next time a drunk person tells you something.

Fiestas Poeticas

2006-02-19T17:57:00.000-05:00

beer, smoke, dancing, creating alternative worlds on ripped shreds that were once sheets, maybe sheets that I once spilled myself onto, wearing flags as skirts, 3D rainbow glasses and viewmasters taking us to the moon, conversations about the worlds we've been in and the worlds we want to see, dismantle , create and build. It culminates on the 2nd Avenue subway platform with Chile on my mouth.

Oh What a Night

2006-02-18T17:42:00.000-05:00

Gracias to all of you who came through to hear/see me at Boricua College yesterday. It was alot of fun and a privilege to be with other wonderful poets. I met some great people and reconnected with people I haven't seen in a while.

Virtual Boricua has some pictures of the evening including a very bad picture of me making a fucked up face. ja ja. Oh well.

Brooklyn in the House!

2006-02-17T12:40:00.000-05:00

And Mala's gonna be in Brooklyn tonight.

I along with some friends like Angel Pont and other amazing poets will be reading tonight at Boricua College as part of their XVIII Winter Poetry Series.

Tonight 7:30 PM
Boricua College
86 North 6th Street in Brooklyn, NY 11211 (L train to Bedford Avenue, walk a block and a half).
Third floor, blue room

and it's free!!!!!

Tertuliando

2006-02-15T16:48:00.000-05:00

If I finish a poem I'm working on I may grace the stage tonight but even if I don't you'll should come through to Fusion Atomica's Tertulia tonight because they always have talented poets, writers and musicians like this fabulous mujer Nicole Cecilia. You know where it's at right? Yes all the way in the depths of Queens at D'Antigua.

Nos vemos.

There's a Hierarchy In the Blog World and it reflects Capitalism!!!

2006-02-15T11:58:00.000-05:00

I mean really is there someone (besides my mother) who is surprised by this week's New York Magazine article on blogs? There was no mention on the role of women in the blog world and forget about people of color in the blog world. ::yawn:: Tell me something I didn't know: the blog world continues to be a reflection of the real world with those in power at the top (you can define power here by language, race, class) and everyone else at the margins struggling.

Carnival Over Here!!!!

2006-02-14T10:02:00.000-05:00

Soltera/Single Suckage

2006-02-13T12:09:00.000-05:00

Of course I know what tomorrow is!! It is a made up holiday so that we consume consume consume flowers, chocolates, panties, stuffed animals , jewelry and a whole mess of things that we don't need. So why when I crawled into bed last night was I thinking about how there will be no cards for me, no flowers for me, damnit even moving that past that materialistic shit, there will be no other person (or persons) to say: Mala you are so fucking hot and smart and I am madly in love with you. Step up people. ha ha. I'm beginning to think romantic love is highly overrated.

Ready for My Close Up (Just Not in This Damn Snow)

2006-02-12T14:44:00.000-05:00

Last week I got my hair did and even got and mani/pedi. Do you know when was the last time I got a mani/pedi? Last summer, when el cubano was coming to see me for what would end up being the last time. This time my primping and preening (that's primping, not pimping- none of that for now)was related to Los Angeles but not to el Cubano. Because I don't want to jinx anything I will not go into details but do you think the world is ready for Mala via television? We (including me) will have to wait and see.

La MapucheRican is staying in school am xtra 37 and 1/2 minutes but at least this time she is getting help in the area that she needs it, writing (ay the irony).

Speaking of writing, this Wednesday is a tertulia Wednesday gracias a Fusion Atomica and the talented poetas, writers, and musicos that gather at D'antigua.

And if one night of Latino talent isn't enough , on Friday , the 17th, Boricua College as part of their Winter Poetry Series will be presenting "New Blood" including me and Angel Pont Navarro y Bonafide Rojas y mas. The fun starts at 7:30 pm at 186 N.6th Street in Brooklyn.

Call for Entries: Critical Perspectives on Reggaeton

2006-02-09T10:39:00.000-05:00

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Reading Reggaeton: Historical, Aesthetic and Critical Perspectives

An anthology of scholarly articles, critical essays, interviews and creative writings on reggaeton

Edited by Raquel Z. Rivera and Deborah Pacini Hernández

Deadline for abstracts: March 31, 2006

Deadline for submissions: June 15, 2006

While reggaeton has received a great deal of attention in the media, it has yet to receive scholarly attention commensurate with its musical and cultural importance. The first volume of its kind to address this rich and relatively unexplored field of inquiry from a diverse set of disciplinary and methodological approaches, it will begin posing questions, proposing hypotheses, and identifying further areas of research. The editors are seeking theoretical and/or ethnographically grounded essays from the humanities, social sciences, and interdisciplinary studies examining reggaeton from the perspectives of production, dissemination, consumption and performance, which can include considerations of history, musical aesthetics, discourse and images, dance, technology, as well as other related issues such as transnational migration and media globalization. We are particularly interested in ethnographic studies that engage with reggaeton as lived practices. In-depth interviews, oral histories, relevant visual art (photographs, graffiti or otherwise), poetry, and fiction will also be considered.

We invite submissions that address (but need not be limited to) the following issues:

•What are the musical aesthetics that mark reggaeton as a genre? How have those changed over time?

•What is the relationship between reggaeton and other popular Latino/Latin American-identified music genres? What has been the history of the integration of “popular” and “traditional” Latino/Latin American musical styles into reggaeton?

•What is the nature of its links to its principal Spanish-language precursors: Puerto Rican underground and Panamanian reggae en español? How different was the Panamanian reggae tradition from what eventually became known as reggaeton in Puerto Rico?

•How is reggaeton connected to U.S. hip hop and Jamaican dancehall reggae? What is the relationship between hip hop and reggaeton in Latin America, elsewhere in the Americas and beyond? Is reggaeton better understood as a subgenre of hip hop and/or dancehall, or a genre unto itself?

•What do reggaeton aesthetics, images, dance styles, patterns of consumption, etc. tell us about race and ethnic relations, identity formation, gender constructions and gender relations, nationalism and transnationalism?

•What are the intersections between dance, gender and sexuality in reggaeton?

•What is the history of women's participation in reggaeton?

•What can previous studies of reggae, hip hop and other forms of Latino/Latin American popular music contribute to reggaeton? Should reggaeton have a space within the emerging field of Hip Hop Studies, and if so, what should it be? What do previous studies of salsa and other Latino/Latin American popular music contribute to our understanding of reggaeton? How, for example, do the arguments regarding reggaeton’s origins parallel arguments over salsa’s origins and issues of cultural ownership?

•How does reggaeton articulate with the global consumption of Latino/Latin American music?

•How does reggaeton fit into a music industry segmented by (perceived) racial/ethnic markets? What is reggaeton’s connection to the development of new media and technologies?

NOTES FOR PROSPECTIVE AUTHORS:

•Abstracts and subsequent submissions should be sent by email attachment to: raquelzrivera@aol.com with cc to deborah.pacini@tufts.edu

•Abstracts should be no less than 150 words and no more than 250 words. A short biography should be submitted along with the abstract. The editors will select abstracts based on originality and quality of proposed content, clarity of presentation, and contribution to the volume as a whole, and invite authors to submit their full-length essays by June 15. The editors will use the abstracts in the process of soliciting a publisher, but acceptance of abstracts does not constitute acceptance of the final paper.

•Scholarly articles should be no less than 5000 words, and should not exceed 8000 words. The length of other submissions may vary. We encourage authors to make the writing style of their submissions accessible to as wide a readership as possible, without sacrificing scholarly depth.

•The editors’ goal is to publish this volume in as timely a manner as possible. Since obtaining permission to quote popular song lyrics or to reproduce images of musicians or CDs is time-consuming and, often, cost-prohibitive, we want to avoid last-minute problems that can hold up production, so authors must have obtained permission to quote song lyrics and/or reproduce images at the time of submission. Securing permissions, and if necessary, making payment, is entirely the author’s responsibility. If obtaining permission proves to be difficult or impossible, we encourage authors to paraphrase lyrics (and/or limit their quotes only to short phrases, i.e. 1 line) rather than quote songs directly; or to cite lyrics that have been previously published.

THE EDITORS

Raquel Z. Rivera is the author of New York Ricans from the Hip Hop Zone and Mellon Postdoctoral Fellow at the Department of Sociology, Tufts University.

Deborah Pacini Hernandez, Associate Professor of Anthropology and Director of the Latino Studies Program at Tufts University, is co-editor of Rockin’ Las Americas: The Global Politics of Rock in Latin/o America and author of Bachata: A Social History of a Dominican Popular Music.

37 and half minutes of bullshit bureaucracy

2006-02-06T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today my daughter had to stay in school for an extra 37 and a half minutes. Ah yes another smart idea from the NYC Department of Education. Oh by the way my daughter is not in danger or failing nor did she have any 1's on her last report card and since last year as a second grader there were no high stakes tests for her, there were no high stakes tests for her to fail. So why is she staying 37 and one half minutes after school. I have no fucking idea.

When I found a note in her folder saying she was MANDATED for the extra time, I asked the teacher why.
"Because there was space"
When I asked what they would be doing during those extra 37 and half minutes I was told that most likely more math test prep until the state wide math test in March (because our children need more help in learning how to fill out those standardized test bubbles). I said this was completely unacceptable and complained.

The next day my daughter's teacher called me to tell me that she was calling me at the principal's request and that my daughter would be getting writing and spelling help, her weak points (she isn't failing either however). Ok. Fine. I said I would give it a chance.

Maybe judging by the first day isn't fair but this is the same school system that placed my daughter in English as a Second language without my knowledge in 1st grade (See the latest issue of LOUDMouth for the full story). Today when I picked my daughter up from the extended day I asked what she had done. Math.

tomorrow morning I will march into the school after drop off and speak to the whoever and inform them that my daughter is being pulled out of the program.

Homeschooling is seeming like a better option more and more.

La Vida es un Carnival : A Radical Woman of Color Carnival!

2006-02-03T08:36:00.000-05:00

The first of many editions of the Radical Woman of Color Carnival is up with many deep, thought provoking submissions of all kinds about what the internet means to women of color.

Check it out - comment- discuss- build over here at Reappropriate

I'm hosting the next blog carnival (Party over here!!!). Stay tuned for the topic and shout out for submissions.

Tag - I'm It

2006-02-02T08:43:00.000-05:00

Before I get into this post which I was tagged by Fabulosa let me tell you that when I was a kid playing freeze and tv tag back in the day, no one ever freaking tagged me because I was such a slow freaking runner and no one wanted me to be it. So sad no? Anyway on to the fluffy fluffiness.

Three books I can read over and over:
Peel my Love Like an Onion by Ana Castillo
This Bridge Called my Back
Borderlands/la Frontera

Three places I've lived:
Corona, Queens
Temuco, Chile
Lewiston, Maine

Three TV shows I love:
Anderson Cooper 360- I like so many others have the biggest crush on him
Primer Impacto/Al Rojo Vivo- Really these are the same show just on different channels oh except Primer Impacto has Walter Mercado
Gray's Anatomy

Three (one) highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:
Lost
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Damn I watch way too much tv because I've seen at least one minute of so many tv shows. The shame, the shame.

Three places I've vacationed:
Jamaica - the island, not the hood in Queens (although abuelita lives there)
Los Angeles
Spain

Three of my favorite dishes:
Pernil
alacapurias
Empanadas

Three sites I visit daily:
Do you know how many sites I vist everyday and I only get to pick three??? Fine...
VivirLatino- I write for them so duh.
Yahoo to check my main email account often
LiveJournal for my private well more private thoughts than the ones I lay out here

Three places I would rather be right now:
I have a lot going on here and I love NYC pero if you're gonna twist my arm
Puerto Rico
Chile
Mexico- just cuz I've never been

Complete and Utter Waste of Tiempo

2006-02-01T08:58:00.000-05:00

I actually sat and watched the State of the Union Address last night. I could have been writing, reading, fucking....anything would have been a better use of my time. Some observations: It took the shrub, between his lip-smacking (nervous habit?), about 8 minutes before mentioning 9-11, WMD's and Bin Laden. The President , in need of a haircut, defended his domestic spying program, continued driving a wedge in the country by promoting the distinctions between documented and undocumented immigrants, and neglected to mention that the Palestinian election was democratic. Oh and Condi Rice needs to lay off the blush.

Antonio Villaraigosa's official Democratic Party response in Spanish, repeated the same ole tired I am the son of immigrants and my mom was a working single mom to cover up the fact that he had nothing new or good to say. He also made sure to make a distinction between "legal" and "illegal" immigrants.

The English language official Democratic Party response by Tom Kaine of Virginia was more lively than Villaraigosa's and I found myself nodding my head a few times but it was nothing earth shattering.

What the hell was I expecting from this farce of a democracy?

Oh on a personal note: Pobre de la fea who has to act as a 411 for my lovers pero my latest one called oh and he's reading the blog. So no details about the great sex we had (show that to your friends :P)

Radical WOC: Last Day to Submit

2006-01-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder . Today is the last day to submit to the Radical Women of Color Carnival:

Because Women of Color recognize that real world structural inequalities such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect, have restricted our access to the resources the internet has to offer our communities,

Because Women of Color recognize that computer literacy is a right that has long been denied to our communities,

Because the internet has been used as a tool to further racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations of Women of Color,

Because Women of Color recognize that these racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations have very real world consequences for our communities and us,

Because Women of Color demand that the resources the internet has to offer be available to our communities,

Because Women of Color demand that computer literacy be restructured as to include those of us who must learn the computer in restricted settings (libraries, prisons, institutions, etc)

Because Women of Color demand a powerful, healthy, intelligent and WHOLE representation of themselves on the internet,

the Radical Woman of Color Blog Carnival has been created!!

**Centering the voices, opinions, issues, interests, demands, problems, and solutions of women of color, this blog carnival will be used to connect the real world issues such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect to the blogosphere.

**Publication date will be the first (1rst) of every month.

**The first publication will be put out at Jenn’s blog; www.reappropriate.com

**TOPIC ONE:
What does the internet *mean* to a woman of color?

Although often touted as the “last frontier” and positioned as something which is essential to learn in the modern day world, the internet has often been used to further very scary and unrealistic resprentations and fantasies of women of color. Furthering this passive violence, it is often the sweat shop labor of women of color that creates computers to begin with.

At the same time, however, the interent can be and often is used as a tool to connect isolated young mothers to other mothers, survivors of sexual violence to advocacy groups, disabled women to resources and a whole generation of amazing teens to other teens. The blogosphere is also used specifically as a space to cover stories that mainstream press refuse to or is too scared to.

To harnass the good of the internet, it is essential for Women of Color to better define what the interent means to us, (the good and the bad) and then work together to figure out how we can use it for our communities purposes and needs.

As such, we will be accepting submissions which question, challenge, discuss, explore, and name what the internet has meant and what it *could mean* to women of color. Is it a site of sexualized violence? A site of sexualized freedom? An opportunity to make your voice heard where there was none before? A site of further marginilization and disappointment?

Send us your stories!!!

Because this is a Woman of Color Carnival for women of color and put together by women of color, this carnival will prioritize those submissions written by and that centralize women of color issues.

To nominate or submit posts, you may email them to Jenn at jenn@reappropriate.com.

Two Nights

2006-01-30T10:43:00.000-05:00

Two nights couldn't be more different even if the circumstances were so similar. Both were former co-workers of a friend. I flirted with both at events celebrating something. With one, however, the intent was clear, direct. We were going to fuck and that was that. There wasn't much get to know you talk. I couldn't delve deeper than his hard on. With the other there was subtlety. In the back of our minds we both knew where we would end up, through the talk of what women and men want, the flirtation of placing his hands on my hips, the long subway ride to his apartment. Maybe that was the difference. One letting me into his space. I could see photographs on his shelves, open his refrigerator to see what he ate, what soap he used, what books he read. He slept for a short while and I learned that he snored. He asked me to stay and wouldn't have minded but I needed to return home. I would leave behind my smell on his sheets even after I had stepped into a taxi to take me back to my world.

One of the two called me. He ran into my friend. Sought out my phone number and called. That implies the possibility of another encounter or maybe working backwards and speaking about things outside the realm of sex. And yet when I saw him in person , he would barely say two words to me. It didn't bother me but it struck me. It would have been better if had just let that night be that night with no follow up phone call. We would have seen each other again, greeted one another with knowing smiles and keep on.

I didn't leave my number this time but he did ask me if I had his as I walked to the taxi. I will admit to being too exhausted at the time to stop and write it down and part of me regrets that ( I also couldn't find my apartment keys) But at least he asked. He said he had my number. I don't know if he will use it or if we will run into each other at an event and smile knowingly at one another before keeping on.

I'm Just A Little More Impulsive Than Most

2006-01-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

An article in this week's Village Voice has me reflecting on my own mental health issues. A few years ago I had what most would call a breakdown. In Spanish we like to call it un ataque de nervios. Sometimes I refer to it as my breakthrough. Years of pent up emotions and hiding not to healthy behavior just spilled over and I disappeared. Just walked out of my apartment, leaving my daughter in my mother's care and left. I wandered. I drank. I cried. By myself. I figured out that something wasn't quite right and ended up at Mt. Sinai Hospital where I eventually was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. When I told some friends, they weren't surprised. Others didn't buy into the whole psychiatric illness thing. I too was and still remain on the fence.
I have refused to medicate myself. This is mostly because of my own fear of abusing the medication more than anything. Oh yeah and I actually do worry about the meds messing up my "creativity" . I haven't been in therapy recently and am wondering if I should be or if it's bs. I've gotten better controlling my impulses ,not so much my moods. So I guess I still remain borderline something or other. On the borderline of what is what I'm still figuring out.

I need a webcam!!!

2006-01-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

Anyone local have one I can borrow?

The End of an Era

2006-01-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

Maybe I'm feeling all nostalgic because I've been hanging out a lot recently with my first real boyfriend and the boy I lost my virginity to (I took his too). I even performed a poem about him and how I broke his heart twice ( I did bad mala that I am). In the 12 years that we have known each other he had never seen me recite my poetry. He said he enjoyed it but it made him feel self-aware even though no one knew it was about him. Not like the time I wrote the poem for a lover I call "la lengua" and well everyone pretty much knew what was up. I like making people uncomfortable in their own skin. Sick sick mala.

I'm under no illusions that anything will happen between the marine (as he was in the marines) and me. I broke his heart twice and we are friendly yet flirtatious with each other. So while I'm not fantasizing about us being a couple again, I am wondering what the hell is going on in that EcuaRican head of his everytime he chooses to kiss me goodbye on the mouth instead of on the cheek. I mean could we really just be friends???

Earlier this week I learned that the movie theatre where we had our first date is going to become a chain store. We were 16 and bought tickets to see the horribly horrible Demolition Man with Sly Stallone. I don't remember much about the movie because well we didn't watch much of the movie. It's much more romantic and sweet to have a movie theatre to point out than a chain store. Fucking chain stores.

You Surf Like a Girl

2006-01-23T10:28:00.000-05:00

Do I though? There's been a lot of discussion about the role of women on the net and in the blogosphere. It's something that Fabulosa, Nubian, and Brownfemipower have been talkin' bout the role women of color specifically . So much so there is a radical women of color carnival comin' up and a growing radical women of color blogring.

So this article I stumbled upon on AlterNet and recent posts by some mujer bloggers I love has me thinking about the why I blog and why I use the internet the way I do. I went online originally not to nurture social networks but to indulge my exhibitionist sensibilities. It unfolded into a means of expression, an arena for self-promotion, and yes a place to build relationships , community with mamis, mujeres, writers (and the occasional lover). And yet despite the fact that much of my life is tethered to the computer and the worlds it represents/mirrors my knowledge of the technology is limited.

I guess if I spent less time pouring my heart out and telling stories and sharing opinions I'd have time to teach myself how to build my own webpage. Mamihood, writing, and working take up time too. I have a techy to-do list that is very long and some of it remains out of my reach for financial reasons. Could that be another reason why there is such a tech knowledge gap and why women and men and people of color use the net in such different ways?

Technology is a Beautiful Thing

2006-01-21T23:26:00.000-05:00

I waver between hating my caller id and loving it. Lost is the element of surprise when you pick up the phone but gained is the ability to ignore phone calls. I admit that I appreciate the extra few seconds my mind has to prepare itself when a name flashes on that little screen. A client hears my most professional hello. A current lover (well actually there is no current anything but that is beside the point) can get a witty/sexy/charming greeting. My best friend will get pure silliness. But how to prepare yourself for a phone call you never expected. I never gave this person my number.

Yes one night I picked him out and shamelessly flirted with him, made eyes at him in the hipster bar/restaurant and made suggestive um suggestions between karaoke sets. Part of the thing is not making it seem calculated. Making him think he is in the lead because you see gentleman...you are not the only ones who can have desire for just one night, for just one thing, with just one person. He was a little rough around the edges, the type I generally like to think I've outgrown. In the words of my best friend there was something so "high school" about him. Was it the eagerness? The way he worried and overthought the logistics, the where and the when and the how instead of just enjoying the flirtation, anticipation, and expectation.
"Excuse me so I can get a prophylactic" He told me as he pulled his hand back from inside my pants.
Seriously he said prophylactic. If I had been truly into technology I would have called my best friend to tell her:

Oh my god I am about to fuck this guy who just used the word prophylactic
Who says that?
The same type of men who call it a preservative in Spanish

Then we would break out in raucous laughter. But I had no cell phone so I laughed to myself as I lit a cigarette and awaited his return.

We didn't exchange numbers that night. I hopped in a cab home. He walked across the street to his mother's house. And yet about a month later here was his name and his number flashing on my caller id. I played it cool. Answering the phone normally.

Hi, how are you?

Hi. Um Who is this?

Don't you remember you gave me your number yesterday?

Oh yeah where because I don't remember giving anyone my number yesterday?

Hi it's me South Side Boy (of course that is not his real name. You didn't really think I would name him did you?)

Oh, Hi!! What a surprise. Happy New Year. Everything just happened so fast last I saw you.

He told me he had gotten my number from my friend at church. We chit-chatted and flirted and teased. He still sounded like the type of person I thought I had outgrown but then again I am known for revisiting the past over and over and over. I told him to call me and maybe we could hang out and I left it at that.

Yeah I love technology because thanks to it I can tell this story here on this blog.

Forks and Awards : MapucheRican Milestones

2006-01-19T12:49:00.000-05:00

Consider this, to use the words of one of readers, an annoying distraction from sex stories (I don't have any to share at the moment- please leave your applications). My sporadic blogging has been due more to mamihood obligations than South Side boys fucking me across the street from where they live with their mothers.

On Three King's Day, los tres reyes brought us our first visit to the emergency Room. I was sitting at the kitchen table tutoring a schoolmate of la Mapu on the importance of the period when I hear a scream coming from my daughter who was on "Enu" (an Ernie step thing that she has called Enu since forever) getting a cup from a cabinet.
"Call 911! Call 911" She's yelling. I run over to find that the tine of a serving fork had gone through her left ring finger. My student was picked up almost immediately and I threw a shawl over la Mapu so we could run over to the nearest hospital (about 5 blocks away). I couldn't put a coat on her well because she had a fork stuck in her left hand and was holding it up with her right. One lady on the street asked me accusingly, "Don't you have a coat for that child?"
I responded, "yes lady I do but in case you haven't noticed my kid has a fork stuck in her finger, the fucking coat is the least of my problems."
La pobre MapucheRican was crying and asking why this happened to her and if it happened because she did something bad.

Once in the ER I grabbed the nurse and told her my daughter had a fork through her finger that needed to be taken out stat. The nurse looked at me and asked, "Are you kidding me?" I told her that damnit I wasn't and to please tend to my child. She was given 5 shots of a local anesthetic, after which she was still screaming.
"It can't possibly still hurt?" the doctor asked her.
"No! But I'm scared!" My daughter yelled. I wanted to cry. Pobrecita. 1...2....3... and the fork was removed. After determining she needed no stitches , we were on our way home about two hours after we came in. Not bad for a NYC ER.

On a happier note, la Mapu was deemed student of the month at her public school. The Principal gave her an award certificate and a medal which apparently between last night and this morning disappeared.

::sigh::

Reflections on the Death of a 7 year old

2006-01-18T10:37:00.000-05:00

She's blurring kindergarten class picture, the kind I have of my own public school educated daughter. She's a red power ranger staring off. She is dressed in white today, all made up and pretty for her burial. Nixzmary Brown was just another little girl of color in Brownsville. Just another brown baby being beat, denied food, and sexually abused and no one gave enough of a shit until it was too late. No one lined up to knock on the door of the apartment where she lived and died. Now they line up outside the Ortiz Funeral Home to say goodbye.

Were there guidance counselors , social workers in her school? Most public schools don't have that support. My daughter's school doesn't. Yeah now the DA will scramble and the Mayor will say he'll reform ACS and people will curse Nixzmary's parents and then everyone will forget just like they forget after Eliza Izquierdo.

The U.S. Military Using Bloggers to Promote Themselves?

2006-01-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

Who would have thunk it huh?

Placing the Murder of Filiberto Ojeda Rios in a Historical Context

2006-01-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

Poeta, Louis Reyes Rivera, did an excellent job, I thought, of placing the death of Rican independence leader Filiberto Ojeda Rios in a bigger historical context.

Cum and Find Me

2006-01-12T09:08:00.000-05:00

Ms. Nubian of Blac(k)ademic wrote about this issue at length but I thought I'd weigh in with my own experience of how people have "found" this blog. Just looking today at my visitors, people have come here looking for "SEX CHICA BLACK" , "latin mami trailers", "PIERNOTAS", "boricua mamis", "latinas big ass booty photos", "mala sex" oh and this picture, that yes is my own piernota. Then there is the fact that a site that I find extremely offensive because of the way it objectifies women of color and seems to have no problem with the sexploitation of women in the third world sex industry (to the point of promoting it) links here.

Do I blame myself? After all I am the one who in her own poetry and writing uses words like "fuck", "chocha" "puta" ( I can only imagine how this post will generate hits from people looking for something to jerk off to). I am the one who is a self-proclaimed exhibitionist and yes posts pictures of my stocking clad leg. Is it the fault of search engines like Google and their programmers who link my use of words to porn sites without filters for context? Are there even filters for context (come on web programmers...tell me!!)? Or is it the fault of a culture that has transformed Latina bodies into detachable mastabatory fodder. Big Asses. Brown, Black Asses. Breasts. Legs. We have become mutilated. Pieces instead of wholes. And am I because of this to be silenced about my sexuality? Can I not write about sex , good and bad and my experiences with it , and how it is a part of my identity as much as my being Puerto Rican, Nuyorican, a mami, a writer etc etc etc without it being stolen and placed into some exotic fantasy?

Yesterday I received an email from someone who came here, lured by my thigh highs. He did read my writing and came to the correct conclusion that I am more than a leg to be ordered from the internet version of KFC's value menu. But what was he expecting when he came here? Before the new year another male emailed me and basically began kicking it to me via email and it became obvious that he didn't bother to read anything about where I come from, what I think or to steal a line from one of my own poems, " the history my lips , hips, and tits carry".

This is not your porn site. I am not your exxxotic girl. I am not your throw away stereotype.

This is my fantasy and reality.

It's a Radical Women of Color Carnival!!

2006-01-11T09:26:00.000-05:00

ANNOUNCING: WOMEN OF COLOR BLOG CARNIVAL
~~~a call out for submissions~~~

Because Women of Color recognize that real world structural inequalities such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect, have restricted our access to the resources the internet has to offer our communities,

Because Women of Color recognize that computer literacy is a right that has long been denied to our communities,

Because the internet has been used as a tool to further racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations of Women of Color,

Because Women of Color recognize that these racist, sexist, and anti-queer fantasies/representations have very real world consequences for our communities and us,

Because Women of Color demand that the resources the internet has to offer be available to our communities,

Because Women of Color demand that computer literacy be restructured as to include those of us who must learn the computer in restricted settings (libraries, prisons, institutions, etc)

Because Women of Color demand a powerful, healthy, intelligent and WHOLE representation of themselves on the internet,

the Radical Woman of Color Blog Carnival has been created!!

**Centering the voices, opinions, issues, interests, demands, problems, and solutions of women of color, this blog carnival will be used to connect the real world issues such as poverty, violence, imprisonment, and community neglect to the blogosphere.

**Publication date will be the first (1rst) of every month.

**The first publication will be put out at Jenn’s blog; www.reappropriate.com

**TOPIC ONE:
What does the internet *mean* to a woman of color?

Although often touted as the “last frontier” and positioned as something which is essential to learn in the modern day world, the internet has often been used to further very scary and unrealistic resprentations and fantasies of women of color. Furthering this passive violence, it is often the sweat shop labor of women of color that creates computers to begin with.

At the same time, however, the interent can be and often is used as a tool to connect isolated young mothers to other mothers, survivors of sexual violence to advocacy groups, disabled women to resources and a whole generation of amazing teens to other teens. The blogosphere is also used specifically as a space to cover stories that mainstream press refuse to or is too scared to.

To harnass the good of the internet, it is essential for Women of Color to better define what the interent means to us, (the good and the bad) and then work together to figure out how we can use it for our communities purposes and needs.

As such, we will be accepting submissions which question, challenge, discuss, explore, and name what the internet has meant and what it *could mean* to women of color. Is it a site of sexualized violence? A site of sexualized freedom? An opportunity to make your voice heard where there was none before? A site of further marginilization and disappointment? Some examples of excellent critiques of the internet that might get your creative juices flowing:
Where Are My Asian Sisters? by Jenn

Why the Internet Hurts Women of Color by Nubian

But of course, these are just examples--creative writing, art, journal type entries, etc will all be accepted!

Send us your stories!!!

Because this is a Woman of Color Carnival for women of color and put together by women of color, this carnival will prioritize those submissions written by and that centralize women of color issues.

To nominate or submit posts, you may email them to Jenn at jenn@reappropriate.com.

Oh what a surprise: Police Are Brutal in NYC

2006-01-05T12:25:00.000-05:00

The even bigger surprise is that the report came from the NY Post: --

There were over 1,000 more allegations of misconduct against the NYPD in 2005 than the year before — and over 100 more complaints that were "substantiated," Civilian Complaint Review Board statistics show.

Hey Look a Good Restaurant in My Hood

2006-01-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

Don't take my word for it, read what the Village Voice said about Istanbul

It May be a new year but it's the same ole same ole for Puerto Rico

2006-01-03T22:18:00.001-05:00

Angry Brown Butch beat me to it yesterday by posting about the Interagency Report by the President's Task Force on Puerto Rico's Status, an effort initiated by President Clinton in 2000 and renewed by Bush in 2003.

I first read about the report on NYC Indymedia and when I read the article's spin on the report I just shook my head and said, "same game, different name".

The United State's government can window dress Puerto Rico's status until the proverbial cows come home. What doesn't change is the fact that Puerto Ricans have no say as to their own future. And if you ask for some say too loudly well just look at what happened to Don Filiberto or what continues to happen to the Puerto Rican political prisoners.

So the choice, in my opinion, lays not iplebisciteses sponsored by the United Stategovernmentnt, which in my opinion are nothing more than glorified opinion polls, but rather in the hands of yes the Puerto Rican and the international community. A Colony by any other name is still a colony.

IT’S TIME TO GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY THAT HOSTED THE COLOR OF VIOLENCE III.

2006-01-02T10:56:00.000-05:00

In March 2005, the City of New Orleans, and specifically the Treme Community, one of the oldest communities of free Africans in America, generously hosted INCITE! for the Color of Violence III. Local residents, activists and organizers opened their homes, school, churches, community center, auditorium, and hearts to us, sharing their struggles while helping us create a unique space for organizing against all forms of violence against women of color in the U.S. and around the world.

Just six months later, New Orleans was devastated by Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath, in which the many intersecting systems of oppression we theorized and organized around at COV III converged in the lives of survivors. The Treme Community, which for many of us was a temporary home for three beautiful days in March, was particularly hard hit by waves of water, racism, classism, and the impacts of U.S. imperialism abroad. Women of color, because of their location at the intersection of these forces, as well as their roles as caregivers to young, elderly, and disabled people, have been on the front lines of struggles for survival in the days and months following Katrina. However, the needs of low-income women of color struggling against poverty and powerlessness resulting from systemic racism and sexism have not been central to government or non-profit responses.

INCITE! is now calling on women of color who participated in the Color of Violence, members of INCITE! chapters & affiliates, and women of color allies, to support the women of New Orleans through the work of the INCITE! New Orleans chapter.

What can I do?

• Join or support an INCITE! delegation to New Orleans. The women of INCITE! New Orleans have been centrally involved in establishing and supporting the Women’s Health Center project of the People’s Hurricane Relief Fund (http://www.communitylaborunited.net). They are also building toward the creation of a Women of Color Organizing and Resource Center, which will serve as a hub for organizing among low-income women of color for meaningful participation in the reconstruction of New Orleans, the rights of workers – both immigrant and non-immigrant – who are the backbone of reconstruction efforts, health, safety & housing rights for women of color returning to New Orleans, and community-based responses to violence and approaches to safety.
Volunteers with health care, education, community health promotion and stress, grief, domestic violence, and sexual assault counseling are urgently needed to support the work of the Women’s Health Center.

Drivers and individuals willing and able to conduct intake, outreach, and provide childcare are also needed.

Individuals with fundraising & organizing experience with respect to housing, environmental justice, health and safety, immigrant and workers’ rights, and violence against women are needed to assist in the development, resourcing, and establishment of the Women of Color Organizing and Resource Center.
INCITE! will be coordinating rotating delegations of 3-10 individuals for stays of a week or more throughout the early part of 2006 to support these INCITE! New Orleans initiatives. PLEASE NOTE THAT WE ARE PRIORITIZING THE PARTICIPATION OF WOMEN OF COLOR IN THESE DELEGATIONS.

For more information, please contact incite_national@yahoo.com or call and leave a message at (484) 932-3166.

IMPORTANT! INCITE! NEW ORLEANS ASKS THAT YOU NOT TRAVEL TO NEW ORLEANS WITHOUT PARTICIPATING IN A COORDINATED DELEGATION. Resources, including housing, transportation, and food continue to be scarce in New Orleans, and many are being taken up by “relief” workers and contractors, to the detriment of New Orleans residents seeking to return to their homes.

Be aware that delegation participants will be housed under “rough” conditions (on the floor, no hot water, etc.) and will be asked to bring basic supplies for themselves and to meet local needs. We will be working long hours, and will likely participate in physical work needed to assist in rebuilding basic infrastructure.

• If you cannot travel to New Orleans, we still need your help! The Women’s Health Center needs supplies and material support. Organize a fundraiser or supply drive in your community to help meet women’s basic health needs in New Orleans in the face of collapsed infrastructure, widespread presence of environmental contaminants, mold, and refuse, and failure of supplies collected by the Red Cross and FEMA to reach women most in need. For a list of supplies needed, please contact us at incite_national@yahoo.com or call and leave a message at (484) 932-3166. Send your financial contributions to INCITE!, P.O. Box 226, Redmond WA 98073 and put INCITE! New Orleans in the memo line.

• Organize to support folks in your area! New Orleans residents have been scattered throughout the country, and many are still housed in government facilities (i.e. army bases), shelters, churches, and hotels. Support New Orleans residents in your area by:

• Identifying where survivors are living and organizing in your area;

• Facilitating forums for New Orleans survivors to come together, share their experiences, and organize around the right of return and New Orleans reconstruction;

• Distributing information about resources available in your local area to survivors. Government agencies have made little or no effort to help survivors access local housing, income support, education, child care, medical, transportation and anti-violence resources.

• Support local survivors’ councils in their advocacy efforts around relief, return, and rebuilding. Offer office space, fax, copying and telephone facilities and woman power to their organizing efforts.

• Facilitate legal clinics to assist survivors in accessing information and benefits from FEMA and the Red Cross, and in fighting eviction and foreclosure proceedings with respect to their homes in New Orleans.

• Advocate for a full accounting of the current location of all New Orleans residents and publication of FEMA and Red Cross databases. Demand an extension of hurricane-related housing and income support. Visit http://www.katrinaaction.org. Support the following survivors demands:

The People’s Declaration: Survivors Assembly Demands
Identified by survivors on December 9, 2005

We demand that the local, state and federal government make conditions possible for our immediate return. This includes the following:

The Nagin Administration must make temporary housing such as apartments, hotel rooms, trailers and public housing developments available for us while we rebuild our homes.

The government must put an end to price gouging, stop all evictions and make rents affordable.

Local residents must take the lead in rebuilding our communities and must be hired to do the rebuilding work.

There must be immediate debt relief for debt associated with this disaster.

Quality public education and childcare must be provided for our children.

Quality affordable health care and access to free prescriptions must be provided.

The government must immediately clean up air, water and soil to make it safe and healthy for people to return home.

We demand that the government provide funds for all families to be reunited and that the databases of FEMA, Red Cross and any organizations tracking our people be made public.

We demand accountability for and oversight of the over $50 billion of FEMA funds and the money raised by other organizations, foundations and funds in our name.

We demand representation on all boards that are making decisions about relief and reconstruction. We also demand that those most affected by Hurricane Katrina be part of every stage of the planning process.

We demand that no commercial Mardi Gras takes place until the suffering of the people is lifted.

We are calling for survivors and supporters to participate in a Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend 2006 conference and demonstration to make these demands heard!

How do I get involved?
CONTACT US at:
incite_national@yahoo.com or
call and leave a message at (484) 932-3166

Send your financial contributions to INCITE!, P.O. Box 226, Redmond WA 98073 and put INCITE! New Orleans in the memo line.

Be sure to let us know about the organizing you are doing in your local area so that we can share that information with the women of INCITE! New Orleans!

****
INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence is a national activist organization of radical feminists of color advancing a movement to end violence against women of color and their communities through direct action, critical dialogue and grassroots organizing. For more information, see our website at:
www.incite-national.org

Feliz 2006

2006-01-01T11:46:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to all regular readers, friends, ex-lovers, current lovers, lovers to be lover wannabes, and those who have just stumbled upon this blog.

Look for design changes, an attempt at more regular updates and despite my best efforts, much drama and excitement.

New Years with la Mala was fairly uneventful. I cooked shrimp, there was dancing, wine and champagne. We celebrated the new year twice, once for Puerto Rico and once for NYC. I fought with la Mapu who wanted to watch the Twilight Zone marathon instead of dancing with me. I didn't have any lover to kiss but I had the love of my life mi hija, so that was fine with me.

Lest you think I have become completely normal, I did call el Cubano . I left good wishes on his answering machine (with la Mapu in the background, saying I should call him a jerk) then I erased his number from my phone book and my phone. So ya. Chapter closed.

Today I am certain that I actually have students. I will post my resolutions later and I will tell you about how singing "I touch myself" in a karaoke bar in the heart of hipster Williamsburg leads to nothing but sin.

Cleaning House

2005-12-30T10:45:00.000-05:00

I will be making changes to this blog for the new year as I work to moving it as well (After March when the blog will be featured in a magazine-stay tuned for the details ).

I have also decided to clean out my phone/address book. It is filled with the names and addresses of ex boyfriends and amantes that serve no purpose except to cause a tiny pain in my chest when I see them. Mala's getting a new black book.

Mala Awards 2005- Best and Worst Continued

2005-12-30T08:14:00.000-05:00

Best Sexual Performance of 2005
Well for half the year when I was getting some from my partner I will say el Cubano because he was that good. But all good things come to an end (or cum if you will) and apart from my half Cubano, half Colombian ex, Colombians continued to represent in this category with a a strong showing by el conquistador (so named because of his role playing a conquistador in a television show) and by the young tongue aka la lengua.

Worst Sex of 2005
Once again to protect the guilty I will not name names but it was too fast and too small.

Best Returning Performance of 2005 by a male
This is a tie split between my ex the former Marine who rode back into my life via bike and el Conquistador who made his annual visit to NYC worth both of our while.

to be continued.......

Blogging as a Weapon

2005-12-29T08:57:00.000-05:00

There's a really good discussion happening over at Woman of Color Blog about blogging and the blogosphere as a tool for women of color/people of color organizing and the politics involved in that.

2005 Year in Review Continued

2005-12-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

Favorite Spot to Hang
This is easy....D'antigua's on alternate Wednesday's of course. Fusion Atomica has their Tertulias where I get to drink, perform poetry, listen to other poets, writers and musicians and flirt. What more could a girl ask for?

The 2005 Mala List- Best and Worse

2005-12-27T09:03:00.000-05:00

Ya se acaba el 2005- 2005 is almost gone. Since my life is devoid of parties right now and instead is devoted to Mami'ing , let's reflect and look back so that 2006 starts with a nice clean slate ready to be all dirtied up again.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions as Fabulosa Mujer did.

The Best Unsolved Mystery of 2005
Have You Seen Any of these two items?????

I lost both of these things this year. One of my vibrators and my (ex) boyfriend. Thankfully I didn't lose both at the same time. I just wish I had a box of boyfriends like I have a box of toys so that it wouldn't have sucked so much when el Cubano went *poof*. I still have no idea what happened to either missing party.

What's That Smell?

2005-12-26T09:56:00.000-05:00

You know it was a good navidad when you come home and your clothes smell like pernil.

And Mala was hungover by the chimney with care

2005-12-25T11:29:00.000-05:00

Wel not really. But Navidad isn't over. Someone invite me to have a drink with you!!!

It was a relatively low key noche buena. I trekked into Manhattan to take la MapucheRican to see the holiday windows and lights. We were singing Christmas songs in the street nauseating our fellow man. I shamelessly admit that I love the lights along Fifth Avenue at Christmas and the holiday windows. It's something that actually brings a tear to my eye. Don't get me wrong, as I looked at the Lord&Taylor windows (which are always my favorite) a voice in the back of my head said "You know there hasn't been one representation of a person of color in any of these holiday windows!" I shut that voice up by paying way too much for a hot pretzel.

The night was spent baking cookies for Santa and once la Mapu was asleep, putting together whatever toys needed to be put together (this included an 11 pm run to Rite Aid to buy batteries).

I resisted the urge perform the carol of the exes which is the sound of me dialing people I have the remotest feelings for cuz well navidad makes me feel kind of lonely. I did speak to two exes but one was returning a call he made to me and I missed and the other well, we still talk and hang out (no not like that).

I received my first official navidad wish, complete with a song in my honor (Mala) at 3:17 am. Yes the call woke me up but it was sweet and made me smile and laugh.

The presents have been open. La Mapu is pleased now it's on to abuela's house.

Alegre Vengo

2005-12-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas Eve over here. I've decided to be a loca and go into Manhattan to take la MapucheRican to see the navidad lights and other madness. I think I'll also make some coquito later (RHD I'll let you know if my receta from memory works).

By the way ....when you took the subway or bus yesterday did you say anything to the transit workers. I did. It felt strange being back on the subway after the strike but it also felt good. I had a meeting in Loisaida that left a great um taste in my mouth . :)

I don't know how much I will be posting but just in case have a wonderful weekend regardless if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, solitice or just not having to work.

Looks Like Strike May be Ending But is it Good for the Workers?

2005-12-22T12:39:00.001-05:00

The media is reporting that the Union management is asking its workers to go back to work although the E-board has yet to officially vote in this move. A settlement on the contract itself still hasn't been reached though even on the big pension issue , which concerns me in terms of the workers and the sacrifice they have made so far.

Some workers who have had the privilege of staying home are actually not too pleased that they may have to show up at their offices tomorrow , right before the holidays.

Looks Like Strike May be Ending But is it Good for the Workers?

2005-12-22T12:39:00.000-05:00

Child Friendly My Culo

2005-12-22T08:33:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to my daughter's (public) school's winter concert. It was lovely. Three part harmonies, songs that expose the insanity of holiday shopping, songs in Russian and Yiddish (not one Kwanza song or song in Spanish though ) . Before the performance began the Principal stood up and said

If you have a small child that is crying, remove that child immediately. But we're child friendly.

Then as a baby gurgled in a seat in front of her she pulled the microphone away from her mouth and said,

See this is what I'm talking about . This is why we're going to have a problem.

Yeah super child friendly.

At the same concert I had the luck to sit next to the rudest woman , a mother of a classmate of my daughter who felt the need to make fun of the Russian and Yiddish songs and then called me "uptight" for not laughing with her. She also pointed out that there was a girl in the glee club who looked very much like me. Is that your daughter? She asked. I told her my only daughter was sitting next to her. Maybe your husband is fooling around? She asked. Now first off I don't have a husband and second, if I did why would a kid look like me if he was fooling around?

Child Friendly My Culo

2005-12-22T08:33:00.000-05:00

f you have a small child that is crying, remove that child immediately. But we're child friendly.

Then as a baby gurgled in a seat in front of her she pulled the microphone away from her mouth and said, S

ee this is what I'm talking about . This is why we're going to have a problem.

Gee unbiased Much?

2005-12-21T22:29:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't be surprised after all it was FOX news channel 5, but really don't ya think it's a little incendiary for the logo regarding the strike to read ILLEGAL TRANSIT STRIKE.

I mean when is the last time they put up a logo saying ILLEGAL POLICE BRUTALITY or um ILLEGAL SPYING BY U.S. GOVERNMENT? Hmmm?

I heart Roger Toussaint

2005-12-21T16:44:00.000-05:00

He sounded fierce at his press conference not too long ago. He especially gets points for bringing up the issue of lack of maternity leave for female workers.

Oh and hello Wall Street Journal Readers

All This Time on My Hand = More blogging

2005-12-21T14:20:00.000-05:00

Mira and will people stop asking me about what I'm doing for New Year's? I plan on going to sleep early. Seriously. Thinking about it makes me depressed. Today while channel surfing and avoiding all the anti-union media I stumble upon someone saying "LAX" and I almost burst into tears. So much for being over relationships. I'm still debating if I should call him (el Cubano) and leave a merry christmas message on his machine. I say leave a message because in his all our effort to lose me he never answers his phone. I should take that as a pretty fucking big hint anyway instead of dwelling in the past I need to focus on the now.

Oh yeah and what the fuck is up with partnered stay at home moms who have 3 people in the house helping them expecting me single work at home mom to to shit for them all the time? This is the bad thing about not having any huge projects on my plate. I think too much and get angry alot more.

She has the right idea

2005-12-21T13:59:00.000-05:00

See what my girl over at Unfurnished Brooklyn has to say 'bout the strike. Don't they say NYC peeps walk the most anyway?

Strike Day 2 and Who's Afraid of Domestic Spying

2005-12-21T07:42:00.000-05:00

Peeps are still hoofing it to work, riding their bikes , hopping in cars with friends and strangers alike because the TWU is still on strike. No one is complaining in this household although we are now figuring that this strike may very well run into Navidad and that means no subway to Abuela's house (and cabs are damn spendy).

Yesterday while my mom was waiting for her ride into the city in Forest Hills a striking worker ended up on a coffee shop line behind her.
"Please don't yell at me" the worker told her because apparently people in Forest Hills weren't being too understanding to workers on the picket line on 71st and Continental. My mom responded with a smile, "I'm not going to yell at you. No one wants this including you guys, just next time do it when it's not so damn cold!"

Oh and is anyone really buying Mayor Bloomie's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge? He doesn't even live in Brooklyn or Queens! Seriously.

Oh and really are people THAT surprised that the U.S. Government could be spying on you? I guess maybe since COINTELPRO targeted specific groups of people many people ere taking that shit for granted.

I'm working on by best of 2005 list aka the Mala Awards.